Sweet Daniel

In many ways, it seems like January 11th was yesterday, but in many other miraculous ways, we've seen Daniel flourish and grow and benefit from his heart surgery. But we shouldn't get too comfortable, because life with Daniel has helped us shape a new normal. One I wouldn't change, exchange, or trade for the world. That being said, when a baby is being formed inside the womb, during that miraculous stage of life, the heart and spine form at the same time. So it is not uncommon that if one has an abnormality, the other can too.

We knew when Daniel was born that there may be a problem with his spine, but it was a "wait and see" scenario. Not what I wanted to hear at the birth of one of my children, especially when he was about to have open heart surgery at 4 days old. I've said it before, but I like to plan, to know...some would say control, but I just don't like to feel like I have no control. But, with Daniel's conditions, I often have little to no control. As D grew, it became more apparent that there was a curve in his spine, but the reason remained uncertain. After many tests, and most importantly, after the more pertinent heart surgery was behind us, he was diagnosed with a tethered spinal cord. The spinal cord normally hangs loose in the canal, free to move up and down with growth and bending and stretching; a tethered cord is held taut at the end, or anchored down. The solution is to cut that cord loose, or as the surgeon told me, "We go in and snip it."

We recieved a diagnosis a few weeks ago, and surgery was scheduled quickly, for tomorrow morning. Unlike his heart surgery, we haven't had as much time to mentally prepare, which is both good and bad. I liked that it wasn't a shadow, lurking behind every thought for months. But I also didn't have time to adjust or get used to it and today I've been rather weepy and sad. I know it could be much worse and our blessings are too many to count. Still, if you have a moment tonight or tomorrow to send up a prayer for strength for our family, understanding for Joseph & Nolan, peace for Brian and I and a successful surgery for Daniel, we would appreciate it. I'll admit it, I'm scared that our good fortune is just going to run out one day. I need to feel God's presence and I need to focus on His love for me and especially for my sweet boys. Thanks for listening, supporting and praying.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Farmin'

A few weeks ago we returned to Davis Farmland. This year we remembered to look up the free military day, so the whole family was able to get in at no charge, which is a HUGE deal! :) We packed a lunch, so our spending money was spent on food for the animals and ice cream for us!

I got a new lens a few days prior, so I was still learning the ropes and the lighting stinks in a few. I'm learning, though!! Joseph meeting a baby pig.Nolan riding a pony.

Daniel feeding a goat. It took some convincing to get him near them initially, but he eventually warmed up to them.

Nolan was able to hold a baby chick. He also got to milk a goat, but I wasn't quick enough for a picture. He milked her the first try and then got grossed out when milk actually came out.

There's a fishing pond, with hooks and metal fish. All three boys loved this!

This picture is actually better than the ones I tried to get of them when they were looking at me...they refuse to sit still together for a picture. Nolan riding his car.

2011 Mommmy's Day

As we near the end of May, I suppose I should try to play some catch up on blog posts. We had a fantastic Mothers Day. The boys really spoiled me. We started out at Tyler and Jess's with an awesome brunch made by the dads. The kids got energy out while the mom's relaxed. After brunch we came home and played outside the rest of the day! Mommy and my Danny: J-Bear : Cami, trying to convince Joseph to come play. He was so shocked when shse grabbed his hand that he just froze!!! I love this picture. Look at his face!! Nolan and his friend Ashlynn: Cheryl, Jess, myself & Erica:

T-ball

Nolan is very excited to be playing t-ball. He's even more excited because two of his best buds, Trenton and Tyler, are on his team. Their team is the Red Sox. Pretty ironic, don't you think? The problem? Many of our Bostonian friends are celebarting that Nolan is wearing his Red Sox hat everywhere. They ask, "Nolan, do you love the Red Sox?" Of course, his oblivious answer is an excited, "YEP!! I love the red sox!" This may be one divided family when it comes to sports...I had a feeling it may happen here if nowhere else. But I will say this...at least we aren't the Yankees!!! All joking aside, this brings me so much joy. I'm so excited that we are starting sports and all the fun that goes along with it...I know before I know it my days will be filled with practises and games. I really will be a soccer mom. And I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

Our Red Sox Team!!! One of his coaches is Brian. This is Cami, Erica & Brien's youngest daughter. She's the same age as the twins...and so stinkin' adorable!! Goldfish kept these boys from chasing big brother onto the field...mostly. There's my little man. He looks way too grown up.

Catching a ball...

Throwing a ball...so proud of him!!

I know I'm his momma, but he's too cute for words.

Running the bases.

Dining Out

When I talked to my dad on Sunday I got in trouble. Apparently he heard through the Facebook grapevine that there were pictures of Brian and I dressed up. I tried to argue that he could just join facebook, but he had the same tone that he had that night I stayed out past my curfew in high school (at Denny's...drinking coffee, I was an insanely crazy teenager), so I kept my mouth shut. But I am, as usual, behind on blogging. A couple of weeks ago, Brian and I attended his Dining Out, a formal Air Force Dinner. It was a fun night and I loved getting all dolled up!

Brian and I: There was a centerpiece contest. The guys put an IOU on a napkin for a centerpiece. We didn't win. There are alot of crazy rules at Dining Out, so I didn't get a ton of pics. I am borrowing this from Brooke. These are some of my favorite Hanscom ladies! This guy is my favorite hottie. He looked so good that night.

I wore this dress on our cruise a few years ago and have been hoping for a Dining Out since. I really love this dress. And I had my hair done and if I ever win the lottery I will have someone who can do my hair everyday.

Martha's Vineyard

I know that in everyone's life, change is constant. Everyone deals with change and most of us, at some point, fight the change to some degree. That being said, I feel for military families change is a part of our everyday lives and we have to adjust so regularly that change is the norm. But I'm finding that just because its the norm...and just because I know its coming...doesn't make it any easier. Two of our friends (and their families, of course) are moving this summer. One we knew about, but one move was a surprise, even for them. So it was even more important for the women of the group to try to steal away for a weekend and enjoy one last roo-ha before the moves. Even though I hate saying good-bye (and I'm not yet), I wouldn't change these friendships for the world.

Myself, Cheryl, Jess, Kristy & Erica. This was our first night and we were at the harbor, eating and getting ready to board the ferry to Martha's Vineyard. I had my first lobster roll....and it was amazing!!!!

The ferry...you can see by the windows we rode at sunset and it was gorgeous!

Erica at brunch!

Cheryl & I posing for Jess, our on site photographer.

At the beach on Saturday. We were so lucky...Erica's co-worker has a house on the vineyard and was able to give us the native tour. Otherwise we wouldn't have seen half the cool stuff we did or know where to eat. This was a hidden gem beach!

Jess & Erica were brave enough to walk out and climb this mossy rock! The water was freezing!

The famous gingerbread houses...us in front of one.

I felt like I needed to prove myself after the girls climbed on the rock, so I climbed a tree!

No ones going to tell us we can't have ice cream before dinner!

Jess & Kristy at dinner Saturday.

My pancakes...fresh rasberry filled. Look at that water!!!!

It was a fantastic weekend, but by Sunday afternoon I was ready to get home and see the boys!!

To those that call me Mommy

My boys, my sweet, wild, always-on-the go boys...we've made it another year, to another Mothers Day. Another year that humbles me with its miracles. Thanks for making me your mommy. And the tradition continues...

Daniel, Because I'm your mommy...

• I get see you wave and blow kisses to everyone you meet.
• I get to be the one who comforts you and hold you at every doctors appointment. The moment I get you out of your stroller you start crying and it breaks my heart, but I love when you nestle your sweet head in my shoulders and snuggle away your fears.
• I get to see you tell me you "love me" with sign language and spoken "toddler" language.
• I get to hear you call cookies, "tee-tee's" just like Nolan did.
• I get to see your face light up when I walk in the room in the mornings and after nap.
• I get to see you scream "Daddy" at the end of each work day and tackle Daddy with hugs.
• When I have a night or day away, I get to see your face light up, hear "mommy" and I get the special welcome home tackle/hug.
• I get random and unasked for kisses from you multiple times a day. This one deserves to be on my list of blessings multiple times!!!
• I get to sing "moon, moon, moon" to you every nap and nighttime and you now love to snuggle on my shoulder.
• I get to watch you make your own path and think for yourself regardless of what your brothers want you to do.
• I get to watch you kiss your brothers.
• I get to try to etch that magical smile you have upon my heart.
• I get to watch you play ring around the rosie with your brothers.
• I get to watch you delight in all dogs.
• I get to muffle my laughs and discipline you when you've had enough of Joseph's bullying and put the smack down by simply grabbing his ear and refusing to let go.
• I get to see those piercing blue eyes every single day.
• I get crinkly nose smiles that melt my heart.

Joseph, because I'm your mommy...

• I get to be the momma to my momma's boy.
• I get to smell your sweet toddler breath each morning.
• I get to wipe your tears away.
• I get to watch you say "Day-Day" and point, always wanting Daniel by your side (even if its just to fight).
• I get to try to figure out how that mind of your works, always thinking and pondering and going.
• I get to listen to you scream for bubbles multiple times a day and delight in the purest joy in the world at blowing bubbles.
• I get to watch you grab Daniels hand and run around laughing.
• I get to referee the two of you, and often the three of you.
• I get to run my hands through those curls of yours.
• I get to give butterfly kisses. And eskimo kisses. And momma kisses. And the best part is I get them in return (this is for you and both your brothers)!
• I get to watch you mimick any and everything Nolan says and does.
• I get to watch you streak down the hallway in your toddler pj's, laughing in delight.
• I get to cuddle with you at night while singing "moon, moon" and then cover you with your blanket just right.
• I get to carry you often and snuggle you, simply because you are a snuggler.
• I get to see you put your hand up in the air for me to hold and have you squeeze that beautiful little hand around my finger and walk along our way.

Nolan, because I'm your mommy...

• I still get to sing the pancake song to you every night and scratch your back.
• I get asked to stay after the song and cuddle with you. There are too many nights I drift to sleep in your bed, content and at peace being next to my firstborn sweet son who is growing up too fast.
• I get to go to kindergarten orientation meetings.
• I get to watch you fight with your brothers.
• I get to watch you teach your brothers and be patient with your brothers way more often than I see you fight with them.
• I get asked to go on dates with you.
• I get jewelry from you on special occassions, like today when you gave me a beautiful necklace and earrings.
• I get to listen to you creep in to our room every so often in the middle of the night and then hear, "Mommy? Can I sleep in your guyses bed?"
• I get to answer alot of questions.
• I get to laugh and laugh and laugh. I never knew being a mommy would make me laugh so much.
• I get to listen to your laughter from the front of the van when you and Trenton, your best pal, are being super silly on our way home from school.
• I get pictures for my fridge that make me so proud I could burst.
• I get to see you play t-ball and my heart lurches at the memory of myself, in a red jersey just like yours and how it all must go so very fast.
• I get to snuggle during movie and popcorn time.

Nolan. Joseph. Daniel. You are my heart. There are so many days that feel so long because its exhausting trying to keep up with you. But no day passes without laughter and hugs and kisses. No day passes that I don't thank God for you. I hope that I am getting this right. I feel like even though the days are long, the months and years are not and I want to stomp on the clock and tell it to slow down. My babies. Even my babies are growing out of babyhood and into toddlers and soon into boys. When you grew in my stomach and I felt that miraculous joy, I couldn't imagine that you would ever grow up. Would any of us have children if we grasped that we would have to let you grow up? And yet, I cherish the growing, the learning and the memories. And I cherish and adore the three of you uniquely and differently and equally. I love you boys. I adore you. Thank you for making me a mother. Love, Mommy