Sam's Blog

Shadows of Love

2012-01-23T09:43:00.003-07:00

I was fiddling around with the camera the other day and realized I had a good back drop to make a shadow profile. I was so excited and Nolan was actually fairly cooperative (I may have had to bargain with the Wii, but hey, this kind of thing is priceless)! This is the original.

I did some editing (crop and color saturation):

This is one of him smiling that I think is adorable and I like that you can actually tell he is smiling.

Which one is your favorite?

Snow Tubing

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

The week between Christmas and New Years Brian took some time off. One of the things he had been wanting to do was take Nolan snow tubing. They had a blast, but unfortunately there hasn't been as much snow this year, so they didn't go "all the way down the hill." Nolan didn't know any better and talked about it for days!

North Shore

2012-01-16T08:45:00.007-07:00

A couple days before New Years Day we drove to the North Shore to explore. Alot of the museums and shops were closed for the season, but it was still beautiful. I'm looking forward to going when its a bit warmer, but I will say this...fresh clam chowder tastes so good when its cold outside!!

In Salem, we visited a beautiful, very old cemetery. Some of the dates were so old you could barely read. Nathaniel Hawthorne's stone was there, with many family members. The picture below struck a cord in my heart...a child's stone and someone had left a stuffed monkey. It drew questions from our boys...

Nolan would only sit on the branch after Daniel sat up there (assisted):

This is where the day got scary. I didn't know until days later I had actually had a picture of this...notice Joey is running through leaves. Notice how he isn't looking where he is going. If you look close enough, you'll notice he's leaning, because as I snapped the pic, he had tripped. He landed on one of the tombstones. Head first. Blood spewing from his head...I took him and ran into nearest deli. They gave us ice and a wash cloth. I was asking them where the nearest ER was, when I realized that although there was quite a bit of blood, the cut was very small and not a deep gash. Whew. What's even stranger...he had a small cut on his forhead and a long cut on his nose...somehow, by a miracle his eye was untouched. It doesn't add up or make sense, but we joked that the angels at the graveyard were watching over him!!

After lunch at a cute little spot on the water we headed up the coast to Gluocester, where we found an amazing little playground and a beautiful view. There is a gorgeous castle you can tour in warmer weather that I want to go back and see. Danny loves the swing...notice the water in the background?

On a huge hill overlooking the water : Cannon!

Joseph and I:

Un-Decorating

2012-01-09T11:26:00.003-07:00

Taking down Christmas lights isn't usually all that fun. But when its almost 60 degrees and you end up shedding your winter coats, its not so bad!! Especially when you have helpers:

And bubble cowboys, who say, "Arms up Momma! Arms up Daddy!"

But sometimes, even cowboys get in trouble. And have to sit in time out:

Basketball

2012-01-09T10:33:00.002-07:00

When we lived in Florida, Nolan's first sport was basketball, through the YMCA. Last year we didn't realize he could play basketball because almost everything else on base goes by school age, not actual age, so after a year off, he's back! He loves it and I think he has a natural talent for it, but hey, I'm his mom, so I admit I'm biased. That being said, at his first game this past Saturday, little man scored TWO BASKETS! I am such a proud momma!

Here he is warming up...I was actually trying to figure out the lighting for my camera, but this is the only pic I have of him shooting a basket: Some action shots during the game:

Happy New Year!

2012-01-05T06:04:00.003-07:00

2011--A year to remember!

I began thinking about 2011 and of course, hospital visits struck me. Then I began to lose count. But then I realized, I was counting 3 stitches visits which actually happened at the end of 2010. If you recall, Daniel fell into our tv stand corner and needed stitches on his forehead. Two weeks (roughly) later, Joseph fell, on the exact corner and got a matching spot on HIS head, same place. Ironic, right? Then, two days before 2010 ended, Daniel fell into a toy firetruck and busted open his chin, needing minimal repair, but glue "stitches" none the less. I remember this one vividly because I was so worried about having him in an ER, full of germs, so close to his surgery date when we were being so careful about keeping him healthy. In January, Daniel had his second heart surgery. And came out with flying colors. Next to the hospital was Joseph, who awoke us one night with a scary cough and couldn't seem to catch his breath or breathe. I have never been so frightened as when I drove him to the ER, listening to him gasp for air. Next was Daniel, who caught a cold and Brian took him to the Children's ER as a precaution because it was post-surgery and we were concerned about a high fever and so were the doctors. All was fine, thankfully. Nolan became ill in March and probably should have gone to the ER, but we avoided it, but went to the doctors three times in five days with what turned out to be the flu. He was sick for 10 days, with a fever reaching 104.5 To say the least, it was terrifying. In early June, sweet Daniel was back at Children's hospital for his second surgery...to fix a tethered spinal cord. We spent two nights in the hospital, short comparitevely, but it was a much more trying stay for him and for me, as he couldn't sit, he had to lay flat for 48 hours. If memory serves me correctly, next was myself. Not even a week after moving down the street, into our new house, I developed a sore throat. A sore throat so bad that meds didn't help at all. A visit to the doctors said it wasn't strep throat. Two days later, I called them back in tears, in more pain than I can ever remember being in. They sent me to the ER (and freaked me out with what that meant). The ER doctor said I should have already been on antibiotics, that I had pharyngitis. In September, Nolan became suddenly ill, vomiting quite a bit and after a quick trip to the Pediatricians was sent to the ER for dehydration. After IV's, he was sent home and within hours was back to himself, thank goodness! Finally, in October, Daniel fell for the second time in three days, landed on his forehead (in the same spot he had early in the week), resulting in an instant baseball size lump on his head. Talk about terrifying. Thankfully my in laws were in town and Kathy was able to come with me to the ER. And thank GOD, no serious damage was done. It was at this visit I asked if they perhaps had punch cards, seeing as I had three boys and I now seem to be a regular there!

In between our hospital visits, the year was chalk full of fun. Going on vacation to the beach, visiting museums, cook outs with friends, girls nights, guys nights, family movie nights, family game nights. One visit to the hospital one of my dear friends surprised me with hot tea to help calm my nerves. At 11 pm at night. A few months later that friend, Cheryl, and her family moved away and we had to say good bye. We also had to say good bye to Jess and Tyler and their boys, two of Nolan's best friends. Nolan had to say good bye to over half of his preschool class in May as they moved away. We moved houses. Brian pinned on Major. Ups and downs. Nolan played T-ball. Nolan played soccer. The twins started talking. Nolan started kindergarten.Ups and downs. Full Circle. I love it and I mourn how quickly it goes.

New Years Eve we left the kids for the first time since the twins were born (on NYE, not ever). We went to dinner with two other couples, had yummy food and lots of laughs. We came back to base and went to a friends house and ended up playing board games until the new year! I have to admit, I missed my kids on New Years...I love watching them with noise makers and hats, so even though it was a great time, I think it will be a few years before I leave them again.

And finally...my new years resolution. This post is only a few days late, but I blame that on my getting an ear infection and being down for the count for days. This year my resolutions are simple. Aim to please my family and treat my family as good as, if not better, than other people. I only need to worry about what they think of me, not other people. So if I have to say no more, I will just learn to do it. And my second resolution is to write more. Journal, blog, write more letters... I miss writing dearly and need to get back into the habit. I will concentrate less on perfect photos and more on everyday photos and writing about them. I don't need perfect lighting to know how beautiful my boys are on an every day basis.

Soo....here's to a new, wonderful, hopeful, happy, exciting (but not too exciting), memorable 2012!!!

December Kid-Isms

2011-12-31T10:49:00.002-07:00

NOLAN:

The dental hygeniest asked Nolan what he had asked Santa for. Nolan said, "Well, I asked for a Wii, because its alot of money (he actually quoted the cost) and my mom and dad can't afford it because they have to pay for food.
When I was walking with Nolan to school and said I couldn't wait for our date that night, he said, "Stop talking about it." Then he said, "Is my face blushing?"

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

When I say, "I love you" to Joseph, he replies, "I LUB you!"
When I say, "I love you, Danny" he replises, "Love u momma!"
Joseph says yes, "Yaah"
Danny says yes, "Yesh."
Joseph says things like, "Nolan at school" while shaking his head no. This means, "Nolan is not at school."

Christmas Day

2011-12-30T12:21:00.000-07:00

Christmas morning was amazing. We woke up well before the boys (can you believe it?). When Nolan bounded out of bed, he first woke the twins up. The three came downstairs and we opened stockings. Then we tortued them by making them sit down to eat. Then we opened presents. Nolan was a bit impatient, but much better behaved and in control of it than last year. What's under that sheet? A kitchen! Good job, Santa! The boys snacking at their new kitchen: And Santa brought Nolan his most asked for item ever!!!

After a lazy day in pj's and playing with new toys (and the wii), we went to Tara and Sean's for an amazing Christmas dinner! Sean got a ping pong table so there was lots of ping pong playing, so it was my kind of day!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

Christmas eve is probably my favorite day of the year. I like it better than Christmas day. I can remember eating dinner on Christmas eve in my family's basement, at our tiny card table, set up by the tree. We would turn out most of the lights and eat by the glow of the lights from the tree. We would play Christmas music on the record player and the magic in the air, the anticipation of what was to come was so thick you could pratically taste and see it in the air. I hope my kids will have similar memories, though their memories will involve different houses and different cities. But hopefully the memory of family..of being together, eating, laughing, chasing each other...will resonate in their minds when they think of Christmas Eve.

We went to 3 oclock service and then grabbed chinese food to go on our way home. This is before we ate:

Joseph didn't want to sit, so D and Nolan hammed it up:

Then they mooned me and thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

When Danny & Nolan were finished, that's when Joey decided he wanted to sit for a picture. Nolan was long gone, but Danny sat down:

Danny hugs Joey for the camera: Joseph doesn't like that (it wasn't his idea), so he hits Danny:

D fights back, but has the ability to also keep looking at the camera while he hits Joseph. And on and on it goes. I have a film strip of them whacking each other. (that's the Christmas spirit!) Dinner was awesome! Duck, veggies, fried rice! After dinner we decorated cookies for Santa! After cookie decorating (and baths) we tried to get more pictures in front of the tree:

This is actually a sweet shot. But it kind of goes down hill from here. Notice how nice Nolan is sitting ("criss cross, applesauce"). He tries to teach his brothers how to sit "criss cross applesauce" like they do at school. They both try so hard. Maybe too hard... In an effort to cross his legs, J bear loses his balance...and with that, I lose all control of picture posing! But that's okay. I kind of like this shot...just wish you could hear their laughter mixed with it! My sweet Nolan showing off cookies for Santa, carrots, cereal and magical reindeer food for the reindeers. There was also milk and a cookie for Christopher, our elf! And just like that...another Christmas Eve come and gone. I loved every second of it!!!!

Ugly Sweaters

2011-12-29T06:39:00.003-07:00

Tis the Season...for ugly sweaters. Or tacky sweaters. Brian's work party this year had an ugly sweater contest. Guess who won first place? (Thanks Chris and Kristy for letting him borrow the essentials)!

That following weekend our friends hosted an Ugly Sweater Christmas party. We got babysitters, gussied up in tackiness and had a great night! Our hosts...who even dressed their dogs in sweaters!

Tara and Sean:

Chris and Heather:

We are missing a few girls, since we didn't take this picture till later. Just for the record, if you are wearing a moo moo...even a Christmas one, using the "Skinny arm" method just doesn't work.

I have no idea what this facial expression is all about...

Story Time

2011-12-29T06:29:00.002-07:00

Our night time routine usually consists of one of us (mom or dad) reading to either Nolan or the twins. But more and more the twins will giggle and run into Nolan's room and climb on his bed, and as long as they are behaving, we have a snuggly story time with all of them. I love these sweet times that I know are passing waaaay to quickly!

Christmas Eve Brunch

2011-12-29T04:43:00.001-07:00

For the second year in a row, the Houses hosted a Christmas Eve brunch. Its such a great way to celebrate. By then, most of the rushed stuff is finished and it was wonderful to sit back, eat yummy food and enjoy time with my friends, husband and kids. There were a lot of people in attendance this year, so I was nervous to have my camera out, but near the end snapped a couple of these two love birds, Cami & Joey: They weren't even under the mistletoe!

North Pole Express

2011-12-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

Nolan's birthday present this year from us was a family trip to the "North Pole Express." The entire experience is modeled after The Polar Express, but I am assuming there are some copyright issues that don't let them call it the same name. A Christian school in Boston does this every year as their fundraiser and it was really, really sweet. Nolan, of course, LOVES the Polar Express and we only let him watch the movie during the Christmas season. When he saw we had tickets, he thought it was the real deal, just like the movie. He thought a train would come to his house, that mommy and daddy wouldn't come and that the final destination was truly to be the north pole. He never once complained, but asked a lot of questions and I could tell he was slightly disappointed by the fact that it wasn't EXACTLY like the movie. That being said, all three kids were over the moon excited to ride a train, wearing their pj's (all the kids did), drink hot cocoa, have cookies, hear a Christmas story, get a bell, sing Christmas carols, meet elves and of course...Santa!

Waiting at the station to get on the train. Joey's "Cheeeeese" face. On the train! Nolan's pal, Ashlyn, her little sister Jillian and Tara and Sean went too! Joseph didn't really care for the hot cocoa, but Daniel LOVED it!!! He gulped it down! Nolan, too, of course! I love this picture...the kids were told Santa was coming. They watched and waited. And waited...and this is the moment they both spotted him! This, um, was the moment Daniel spotted Santa. He was TERRIFIED!!! Ashlyn and Nolan with Frosty after the train ride.

First Snow

2011-12-12T11:07:00.002-07:00

Our first snow this year was the weekend before Halloween. Thankfully most of it had melted by Monday (Halloween), and we were very blessed on base to not lose power. The snow wasn't bad, but the wind was nasty, downing trees and power lines left and right.

Nolan had fun playing in the snow! Joseph too: Danny really liked splashing in the puddles. Fitting since he was the only one whose snow boots we couldn't locate that day!

We're in Boston, for petes sake, we're not afraid of driving in a little snow!!

I feel like our "ghost" is making faces at our snowman. Or maybe he's terrified that its snowing at Halloween?

Finger Lakes

2011-12-12T10:50:00.003-07:00

Way back in October, Brian's parents came for a visit. And during their stay, we took a weekend away together to upstate New York. We stayed at a bed and breakfast that was on a wine trail boasting over 16 wineries. To top it off, there were cheese trails and chocolate trails...it was one of the most fun weekends I've ever had and really hope we can go back next fall! I'm so grateful to Kathy and Dennis for taking on four days with our boys! This was the view from the house we stayed in:

One of the wineries we visited. This was the dairy farm where we were able to sample oodles of cheese. It was amazing!

We really liked the wine...

This is Taughannock Falls from the lookout, we went here Saturday morning:

Sunday we dressed appropriately and hiked to the bottom of the waterall. It is stunning! Ithica Falls:

November Kid-Isms

2011-11-30T19:11:00.003-07:00

NOLANISMS-

Nolan was having a talk with his friend about teacher names and said, "My teachers name is Miss Tobin, but that's not her real name, thats her teacher name."
During prayers one night, what seemed out of the blue to me, he prayed that "Tootsie would get more ornaments for Christmas." When I said that was a sweet prayer he said, "Well she just has ONE ornament. Its sad, she's a good girl."
On the same note, Tootsie is often like a 4th kid (I should have Tootsie-isms, involving what she managed to swipe and eat)...anyway, I told Nolan I was going to send Tootsie off to live with the elves and he said, "NO!! I love her too much." (She sleeps with him most of the night, most nights)
Nolan still calls instructions, "Re-structions."

JOSEPH & DANIEL-ISMs-

Joseph will get heartbroken if he wants to play trains with Danny and D doesn't want to. He usually cries his eyes out, but sometimes he'll shove Daniel and say, "Play trains!!"
After the recent switch to big boy beds, the boys have done great with bedtime. Naptimes were a huge problem. I would kiss them goodnight, but then I would hear pitter patter. D: "Jo Jo, up! Play!" J: "No Danny, night night." D: Jo-Jo, UP!" J: "No play Danny." Pause. Double pitter patter. Giggles. Obvious, endless play. We have come up with a new naptime routine thats working, thankfully!!
If Daniel does a monster roar, Joseph gets genuinly scared and runs to me for protection. This amuses Daniel greatly. It does not amuse me after 5 minutes, so I'm tring to make dinner saying, "Danny, STOP SCARING YOUR BROTHER!"
These two are truly best friends or worst enemies. When they are getting along, its the best thing in the entire world. Much easier than having one two year old. When they are fighting and screaming, its very frustrating.
Joseph is smitten with our neighbor, Bella, who is 3. I'm not sure she's even aware J exists...she's a typical, sweet girl, who plays with the other girls in our neighborhood. But J will randomly say, "Friend Bella. Love Bella."

Thanksgiving

2011-11-29T18:47:00.003-07:00

Brian and I were excited to host Thanksgiving again this year...it was funny to be at the same base, but a different house, with almost all new friends/guests. Not because the "old" friends aren't invited, but because they moved. So it was very bittersweet. Super sad to think how much we missed so many friends and families in our lives. And yet abundantely joyful to share the special day with the amazing friends in our lives.

These are Trader Joe's chocolate croissants...you leave them out over night and they double in size, then you bake them. They were disgusting. Disgustingly delicious... I love getting fancy once in awhile!

Look at all that food! Brian fried a turkey and the rest was potluck style. These people know how to cook!!!

A few years ago I cut a picture out of a magazine with this centerpiec. Put a branch in an apple...put clothespins on the branches and then attach pictures. I was so excited to finally do it, with the vision in mind of all the many people we are thankful for...mostly our children. And of course friends and family that couldn't be with us. I actually had too many pictures. But I think the sentiment was there...

Turkey Coma!!!

The ladies (Tara, MC, Sam, Katy, Erin & Erica):

Stone Soup

2011-11-29T17:53:00.003-07:00

The moral of the story of stone soup is "it is only by sharing that we feast." The kindergarteners hear the entire story and then invite their families to a stone soup celebration (near Thanksgiving). It was a very sweet celebration and different from any I've been to in the past. Of course, my favorite part was watching Nolan and his classmates perform Turkey Day songs: Nolan was very excited to show us the ropes of his classroom: Nolan and Daniel LOVED the soup! Joseph loved the bread. And cookies (he fell in the parking lot on the way in and was a disaster for the first few minutes we were there). Yeah, Danny liked the cookies too.

Nolan's Birthday Party

2011-11-28T12:09:00.003-07:00

Nolan's party was at an indoor putt-putt place...it was a very simple, no frills party that I think was a big hit!

The kids played mini golf

Watched 3-d movies (7 minute films)

Panned for jewels...the owner would open a bag of sand and jewels, drop it in this mesh tray and the kids would wash away the sand, but the jewels/rocks would stay...and they got to keep them. Nolan said they were his pirate gold!

Captain America cupcakes:

Cake eating (after pizza eating) And a cool photo op that each birthday party gets to do! And at the end, there was zero clean up on our part. My kind of party! :)

Halloween Cookies

2011-11-28T12:02:00.003-07:00

I'm very aware that Halloween was almost a month ago. I'm so very far behind on blogging, but I am determined to catch up! After school one day the boys and I decorated Halloween cookies...it was a blast. Nolan is laughing because... Joseph is licking the icing.Then again Danny's icing never made it to his cookie.

Happy 6th Birthday Nolan!!

2011-11-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

Dearest Nolan,

It seems like yesterday that I was running final errands on a Tuesday afternoon with your daddy preparing for your arrival. I was scheduled to be induced Wednesday morning, so I think that is what contributed in both of us ignoring the obvious signs that I was in labor. I constantly joke with you that you should get back in my belly for a little bit and cuddle. We didn't make it to Wednesday morning before went to the hospital . True to Nolan, you had your own agenda. I spent a long Tuesday night waiting for you, but ironically, you showed up around the same estimated time you would have if I would have been induced. Screaming, red, with bright red hair. I had prayed for a red head. I had prayed for a healthy baby. I had prayed for a child to call my own. And there you were. Though everyone tries so hard to explain, nothing could prepare me for motherhood. It was as if God scooped a bowl of love from my inside and handed it to me. I was forever and ever changed and I can't really remember now what life was like before you were in it. I don't want to. That's how awesome you are. Six years have rushed way too fast, but they have been so much fun. You are a pistol and you stop for nothing and no one. You are stubborn. You need to be heard. You are so smart. You are sensitive. You are unbelievably creative. You worship your daddy. You love your momma. You protect and guide your brothers. I try not to be sad that six years are behind you. Its so fun, how can I be sad? I'm so proud of you, little man. You are every dream come true that I could ever wish. I love you all the way to the moon (and back).

Love, Mommy

We woke you up with a surprise! You brought this as a treat to school for your birthday to hand out to other kids. Gloves and a packet of hot cocoa and marshmellows. Your class mates were very excited!! We finished off the day at Rainforest Cafe, where the staff sang you Happy Birthday with your dessert.

My Pregnancy Testimony

2011-11-12T16:34:00.004-07:00

This post was originally written in early Janueary, 2009. I kept writing and re-writing it. It has sat in my computer for far too long. The writing will never be perfect, but here it is. My testimony, my faith, my unending thanks for the way things have turned out. I think its the perfect day to post it.
This is a post that has been on my heart for a very long time to share. The Lord has urged me on in this for quite some time, however, even before I knew I was pregnant. For many reasons, I haven't sat down and written it. One reason is that it won't be easy and another is that in no way do I want to seem like I am seeking pity or airing our problems to the world. And yet, during some very difficult times in the past two years (and especially the last year) my heart and soul have found comfort and healing in many blogs, most of whose authors I have never and will never meet. To this day I'm amazed at their honesty and their stories and mostly their strength that they received from God. So, after much thought and praying I feel like it's only fair to pass on this testimony, that which is really my Savior's.

For those of you reading that don't know, Brian and I used a low dose fertility medicine to conceive Nolan, our first miracle. After two years of struggling with fertility and fighting doctors I talked an OB into trying that method before pursuing much more invasive testing that would have included surgery and put even the possibility of getting pregnant off by many months. After Nolan we had hopes that perhaps this time we would get pregnant without medical assistance, but to no avail. When Nolan was about a year, I began the same fertility medicine. Two times we got pregnant and two times we miscarried (very early). This was about the time Brian went on his four month deployment. I was crushed, knowing we would have to wait four more months before even trying. But the Lord had other plans for me. I began eating healthier, working out and spending alot more time with God. It was a cleansing period and when Brian returned, we were excited that this time it would work. We got pregnant rather quickly and waited. I worried. And prayed. And things seemed to be going okay.

And then one night, the rug was pulled out from underneath of us. We went to the ER because of excruciating pain in my left side. I knew and read enough about what could go wrong in pregnancies to know what was happening. I kept hoping and praying I was wrong, but when the ultrasound tech couldn't find anything at all on the screen one of my worst fears began to take form. What seemed like hours later the doctor gently informed me of what I already knew. The pregnancy was in my tube. I had an ectopic pregnancy. By the time I was being rushed into surgery to remove the baby, my tube had burst. They removed the baby, my left tube and a thousand dreams. That's the ugly of it. The amazing part starts here. Our friends were unbelievable during this time. Being away from family, our friends took that role of family. Nolan was taken care of for most of the weekend (Easter weekend by the way). We had meals brought to us for over a week so that we didn't have to worry about cooking. I was very weak and couldn't get out of bed for the first few days and after that I was supposed to take it easy. Friends visited, brought us goodies, movies and magazines. Friends and family from miles away sent flowers, cards, phone calls and prayers. And we felt those prayers. I thought I would fall apart, but the peace I experienced was utterly amazing to me. And amid the grief, I was shocked at how happy I could feel. Not for long. But for moments. For a while that's what my life became. Moments, connecting to one another. Gut wrenching sadness. Anger. A hug from my son which made me so happy. A phone call that brought hope and laughter. A whispered voice in my soul telling me I would get through this and this wouldn't be forever. I suppose my whole life is really about moments, but I get so caught up in things that it takes something unfortunate or truly sad or just monumental to make me stop and realize how wonderful small moments can be.

After a few months Brian and I met with a fertility specialist, a kind doctor who told us the good, the bad and the ugly of our situation. I went through another round of tests. Blood tests, ultrasounds, and more. I won't lie, it's not fun! The end result was what we had heard before. We're a "normal" couple. Nothing came up wrong, there should be no reason we shouldn't be able to conceive, although now our chances did go down because I had one less tube. It's called unexplained infertility. So we decided to try 3 cycles at this clinic. If unsuccessful, it most likely meant our next step was IVF, which our insurance would not cover. The first two cycles most of my mature follicles were on the wrong side. It was devastating to know we were trying for something that would most likely fail. We drove to Pensacola usually twice a week. Again, friends watched Nolan alot and this helped so so much. Two failed cycles. I wasn't sure I could take another failed cycle. I was emotionally drained and physically I was beat, too. Brian is a great pep talker, though, and everyday he told me I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. We cried and prayed together. We laughed alot, too. And then...things looked good, for the first time. According to the ultrasounds, everything was maturing on the right side, where I still had a tube. We tried not to get our hopes up, but we were very positive. And then, finally, after what seemed like eternity, I was able to take a home pregnancy test. I saw two lines immediately. I knelt on my bathroom floor, bawling and just thanking God.

It wasn't long, however, before the fear set in. What if I miscarried? What if I had another ectopic? If I lose my right tube will I ever have more kids? Would I be able to go through all this again? But my HCG levels were very good and so we settled in to wait for our first ultrasound, at the 6 1/2 weeks point. Those two and half weeks crept by. It was a snails pace, really. Every pain had me on edge, every ache, every sneeze. My ultrasound was scheduled for a Thursday afternoon. Wednesday arrived and I was on edge and in awe for more than just the reason that the following day I would have an ultrasound. It was November 12th, which marked what would have been my due date for the sweet baby I lost in my tube. I prayed that morning that someday I would get to hold him or her and that I was really going to try to let it go now. To move on and hopefully have more healing and less hurting. As I had most days since I had become pregnant I fell into bed to nap the second Nolan did, I was so exhausted. When I woke up from my nap I stood up. And felt a very similar excruciating pain all throughout my abdomen. I could barely walk. Truly, every step I took made me cry out in pain. It was happening again, another ectopic. On the day of my should- have- been due date. Brian was out of town. I would have to have surgery without him. I would miss Nolan's birthday party. I would miss bringing him to school the next day with his blue cupcakes he picked to share with his class for his birthday. I cried and called Cheyna, who had a 3 week old. In minutes she had it all under control, getting Abby and Nolan to Staci's house so she could take me to the ER. While I waited for her to arrive Nolan stroked my hair and told me it would be okay. This broke my heart in one thousand more pieces. He shouldn't have to see me like this. At the ER it was surreal and unsettling. I was put in the same room as my last ectopic. What seemed like forever they finally wheeled me to the ultrasound room. I prepared to see a blank screen. And then I saw my baby. And the flickering of a heartbeat. The tech smiled and told me congratulations and I cried. And then she moved the wand and I gasped. "Is that what I think it is?" I asked. "Yep. You have twins." My heart stopped. My breath was gone. "Does it have a heartbeat?" I croaked. "It sure does." And that's how I discovered I was having twin miracles. God had been working on my heart in so many ways and I understood instantly that it was no coincidence that I sat in the same room, 9 months after my ectopic, on my would have been due date, discovering this news. It was and it is a MIRACLE. God and I still have so much to work on and I have so much to improve on. He's made it clear lately to me that worry is not my job. Every single day, and sometimes more, I have to give over my miracles, my babies to Him. He wants me to be joyful, not fearful, of this pregnancy. And its a challenge, but I'm getting there. That is my testimony and my story.

Why I Love Motherhood

2011-11-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Because I get homemade necklaces, that come with a picture. And lots of love. He's so proud, he even takes a picture with my phone. I love him so much.

Halloween Night

2011-11-02T07:55:00.006-07:00

As most of you know, we had quite the storm Saturday night, early Sunday that dropped a good amount of snow and brought heavy winds to our area. Lots of towns cancelled or post poned trick or treating...thankfully, base was not one of them. Monday night, we had a quick dinner at Sean and Tara's, with some very excited little ones, then went out to trick or treat!

My 3 little guys. I love this picture because Daniel is enthralled with Nolan's costume. Nolan wore Josephs elephant costume when he was (almost) two!

I wanted N to take off his mask for a picture and "bend down next to your brothers." But his brothers kept bending down with him, defeating the purpose! Ashlyn, the very beautiful witch!!!

Jillian, the cutest pumpkin in town!

My Danny. If you look closely, you'll see he has two black eyes from a terrible fall last week...that's for another blog post, but we perhaps should have dressed him like a raccoon. But he's such a cute elephant!!!! JoJo:

We had planned on taking them to a few houses, then one of us heading back to the house with the twins and handing out candy while the other parent stayed with Nolan. These boys went to every house their big brother did and refused to let us help carry their buckets. So our plan didn't pan out and by the time we returned home, trick or treating was done! We managed to get one pic of all 5 kids!! I kept seeing Nolan walking around in the elephant and tearing up at how quickly it all goes by. I have LOVED every single Halloween since Nolan was here...but so far, this was my favorite. All three of my boys trick or treating, friends to share in the night, a fabulous neighborhood and daddy home to enjoy it. We are very blessed.

Halloween Party

2011-11-02T07:48:00.003-07:00

Saturday we went to a Halloween party at a neighborhood friends' house. In the interest of not wanting to be worried all not about the kids "ruining" their costumes before Halloween night, we decided to throw together a family costume and used mostly stuff we already had. I was the Queen Bee, the boys were my little worker bees and Brian was the beekeeper.

Nolan can't quite read yet, so he didn't know what this said, he just knew he was a bee!

Everyone got into the Halloween spirit, it was such a fun night!

Pumpkin Carving

2011-10-31T08:58:00.003-07:00

We were able to help send off some friends that were moving away at a going away/pumpkin carving party. I couldn't believe how much food there was...and how many pumpkins there were!! It was such a festive affair!

Nolan carving his pumpkin:

Joseph and Daniel used stickers to decorate their pumpkins:

Daniel:

Hostess, Saundra (left) and her cousin, Kaylee:

A line of pumpkins begins to form...this is about half of the carved pumpkins!

I think the one on the right was the winning pumpkin, created & carved by a little guy with no help--impressive! Dancing! This was the coolest part and the best idea ever!

Apple Pickin'

2011-10-31T08:21:00.005-07:00

A few weeks ago, we went to Parlee Farms, an awesome place that we visited last year as well. We met Tara, Sean and their girls there and it was a fantastic day...with only a few hiccups. Nolan & Ashlyn on the hay bales: Danny & Joey watching the bunnies: I love this picture...Ashlyn asked Nolan if he was chewing gum. This was his response. Don't ask me why I happened to be snapping a pic right then. Picking wild flowers. Brian picking pumpkins:

My 3 lil' pumpkins.

On the hayride to pick pumpkins.

This was our hiccup. Out in the apple orchard, with no umbrella. You know, because there was a 9% chance of rain. NINE. It poured. If you are wondering, apple trees don't make good umbrella's.

But that's okay, we had fun anyway!

Editing

2011-10-16T06:44:00.005-07:00

I have been having so much fun taking pictures lately and really trying to educate myself about my camera. I have a loooong way to go and constantly fall short in what I could know. But little by little I'm learning. Editing is a big part of photography and an area I know so little about. I'm starting with a user friendly version, Picnik. I want to use photoshop, but its more costly and completely overwhelming since I don't know what I'm doing...I plan to take a class or watch tutorials, but until then, this is what I'm working with. So...to my photography friends out there, I am an amateur and I KNOW IT! :) But still...here are my boys, in my first couple attempts at editing.

J Bear: Nolan:

This is Danny...he had fallen earlier in the week down the driveway and scraped his nose. I was able to tone down the scratch in the pic, but not completely. And yes...that's a tear.

Octotoberfest

2011-10-16T05:57:00.002-07:00

Nolan's field trip to an apple farm was cancelled, but luckily the day it was rescheduled for was gorgeous (unlike last year when the preschools field trip kept getting rescheduled and rained out and they never were able to go). They went apple picking, ate cider donuts, drank apple cider, picked a pumpkin and got to ride a bus...Nolan had a wonderful time!! This is him after school with his loot. That night the base hosted the annual Octoberfest. Danny and Daddy: Their decorated pumpkin. There are no pics of Joseph because he was clinging to Brian or I the entire night because he was terrified of the clown that was there.

Nolan decorating his pumpkin, which the squirrels have since eaten.

Nolan's face painting...it took quite a bit of face washing and one ruined wash cloth to get that off!!

Pop Pop and Uncle Jack

2011-10-09T12:38:00.005-07:00

In September, my dad and my brother flew to Boston to visit us...we had so much fun (but we missed you, Grammy)!! Nolan was so so excited and it took the twins a mere 5 minutes to feel the same way about Pop Pop and Uncle Jack. On the first full day they were there I hired a babysitter so we could take them on a tour of the city kid free...we missed the boys, but figured it would be the easiest way to see the most. Its amazing how those cuties can slow you down. Of course, I think dad would have welcomed a bit of slowing down...here is Dad, Jack and Brian toasting at the brewery right by Fenway! Our tour of Fenway park. Such a cool tour...and they give a military discount! Dad and I in the announcer box. I felt pretty cool, obviously. The following day we went back downtown after Nolan was out of school to see the North End and do a bit more touristy stuff. We were only able to get my dad out the door again by promising no more public transportation! :) Pop Pop with Joseph & Daniel.

Since Jack's a firefighter, the boys were able to get an upclose look at the firetruck at the North End (but none of my pics really turned out). Reason #101 why Nolan adores Jack:

Joseph & Jack:

Eating at Pizzeria Regina, which came highly recommended. I now crave this pizza weekly...luckily there is one at the mall, but the North End one was so perfect!

Nolan and Pop Pop:

Uncle Jack & Nolan. I'm not kidding after they left, Nolan and I were in a funk for days.

Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-30T11:46:00.004-07:00

When we visited Fourth Cliff for a few days back in May, we decided to book Labor Day then. It seemed so far away, but wow, summer flew by. We were happy to learn there were other families from base that were going to be at Fourth Cliff too. It was a fabulous weekend and we lucked out big time time with the weather!!

The boys loved playing with all the sea creatures. Nolan with a starfish:

I love this pic of J Bear:

This picture sums of the emotions of summer for me. Watching my boys play in the water, sand between our toes. Love them, and love these years. This was outside the restaurant we found for breakfast one day....which was so good. I can't resist pics of Danny smiling at the camera!!

Saturday, the Cullens hosted a magnificent feast of lobser. We all brought a side dish or dessert and they made the lobster as part of their going away party. It was so much fun and I'll really miss their sweet family even though we only knew them for a year.

Nolan and Joseph throwing rocks:

Tara and Sean brought the girls up Sunday. It was perfect beach weather and we hung out on the beach, then grilled out and let the kids play.

Ashlynn and Nolan with sparklers...love the water view behind them.

September Kid-Isms

2011-09-30T11:31:00.002-07:00

NOLANISMS:

Nolan was hiding and playing; when I came around the corner I asked what he was up to. His reply, "Go away. I'm talking to myself. Run along, run along..."
Nolan was talking to a neighbor who was outside and said, "Why are you doing that?" I told him that was bad manners and he asked how he should ask. I thought and said, "How about, 'what are you up to?'" He said, "Mom, thats how big people talk. I'm a kid. This is how I talk, when I'm big I'll talk like you." Touche.
Brian asked N if he had been good at school that day. Nolan said, "I'm always good. I don't even pick my nose at school."

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

When we drive up a hill in a car, stroller or bike, the twins say, "Up, up, up, up..." until we get to the top of the hill.
After any song they clap and say, "Yaaay."
If one has to apologize, they both end up saying sorry to each other, then hug.
Joseph definitely knows all his colors. Daniel is not AS interested (much like Nolan), but gets it right about 50% of the time.
Their favorite show is Dora the Explorer. They beg to watch it all day and will follow me around saying, "Do-a! Do-a!!"
They insist on climbing into their own seats...stroller, carseat, booster. Its a time consuming period of our lives!
They both say "Cheese" when I pull out the camera. Many times however, D is not in the mood and will look at me and shout, "Noooo!"

Sweet Shot Tuesdays

2011-09-27T18:23:00.004-07:00

I started reading Darcy's blog almost a year ago, around the time I purchased my Digital SLR camera. I have learned SO much from her and from her followers. I keep saying I'm going to start doing "Sweet Shot Tuesdays," a weekly event that allows photography bloggers (which she deems anyone with a camera) to post their pictures. We can admire each others work and encourage one another. But here's the thing. I'm a big chicken. This is NOT me fishing for compliments. But its also pretty sad that I've waited this long to start doing something concrete about something I love so much...taking pictures. So I'm taking a big leap and will commit to once a week photos. Ironically, Darcy's taking a one month hiatus from Sweet Shot Tuesdays to blog and teach the rest of us more about photography. But, I really plan to stick with this. Wish me luck. And I'm open to all the advice and suggestions you have about photography and photo editing. I'm such a rookie.

Meet n Greet

2011-09-22T07:10:00.004-07:00

The day before Kindergarten started, Nolan and I went to his Meet N Greet, where he was able to find out who his teacher is, meet her, and see the classroom. He was pretty shy that day and it was sweet. Here he is making his name plaque for his locker. He wanted it to be Captain America, so we had to "make" silver by mixing some crayon colors. Such a big boy, I'm so proud of him!!

Way Back When..

2011-09-15T13:46:00.005-07:00

Did no one warn me how insane having a school aged child would be? Or did they and I chose not to listen> Fall has kicked off with a bang and I'm shocked September is almost over. Its been a complete whirlwind and I'll admit we are in an adjustment period in our house! I miss doing simple things I enjoy, like scrapbooking and blogging. That being said, here are some pictures from July. Yes, July, or maybe early August. Don't judge me. We took a day trip to Kittery, Maine. They have some great outlets, so we bored the boys first with shopping, then took them on an adventure to find a beach. We found a beautiful, hidden one and it was magnificent. We finished up with dinner at Warrens, which had AMAZING food!!

The boys:

We didn't dress the twins in their suits, becasue the last few times we have gone to the water, they were terrified. Daniel still wasn't sold completely, but Joseph had NO FEAR. Thankfully we brought a change of clothes. In this pic, Brian's yelling at them to come back and they were pretending not to hear. Meeting a crab:

Nolan and Momma:

A couple of Danny I just love :

Joseph:

Kindergarten

2011-09-06T13:09:00.005-07:00

Dear Nolan,

Here we are. The day I quite frankly looked forward to and dreaded with equal amounts of emotions. Your first day of kindergarten. It seems to me you've been ready for over a year, but I know that's not completely true. But you have sure been excited about this big milestone. And yet, as we neared the school, you racing ahead with your buddy, Max, I could sense some shyness. You slowed down. You took my hand. You took in the big school, the hoards of kids. The ringing bell. And your sweet blue eyes were the size of quarters. Not scared. Just aware that this was pretty big. You stood in line with your class, looking around, sizing it all up. I tried so hard to keep it together. I kept thinking about a day, not long ago, sunny and bright in Cheyenne. Walking into work, rubbing my big swollen pregnant belly and seeing my co-worker, Maryellen, wiping her eyes. She was one of my mentors and I quickly asked if she was okay. She chuckled, wiped her eyes and said, "My baby started kindergarten today." I hugged her and she said, as we made our way into work, "Just wait, that little boy will be in kindergarten before you know it." Ha! Double ha! This baby had no plans to even get out of my belly yet, my ankles were the size of telephone poles, my feet got so swollen and sweaty, Brian made me shower them before I walked around barefoot in our house and I couldn't make it more than a few hours without craving peanut butter, ice cream or cereal. You were my baby. We cannot believe how fast the time goes, until its gone. Gone. Like a fine mist over a lake, that I can see, but its reality of existance is transclucent. Memories, sunshine and laughter, swingsets, bandaids, ice cream trucks, playdates, spilled milk (sure that's not over), becoming a big brother, and now this. Waving good-bye to me as you walked away. Walked away, into that school. My baby. Would you like to get back in my belly, just for a minute or a day? When you disappeared around the corner, my composure crumbled. I love you sweet boy. I'm so very proud of you. So very excited for you and the adventures that lay ahead. I will always be here. Always be your biggest cheerleader and fan and my love for you will never ever fade, but continue to grow, like you do, my son.

Love, Mommy

I LOVE this pic!! Danny, Nolan, & Joey: Nolan's "silly" face: Max, our next door neighbor, and Nolan. Both started kindergarten, but they are in seperate classes. I've been asked twice if I have two sets of twins. Nolan is beyond excited about his back pack. My baby.... Nolan and his teacher: My friend Tammi started a tradition of making a cake on the first day of school. I decided to try it. Kindergarten is a long word, difficult to fit on a cake. Brian thought I forgot the "K" since it was not in blue and thought I needed to go back to school. We finished the day off with clam chowder soup, upon Nolan's request. He's truly loves New England!!!

Soccer Camp

2011-08-31T12:58:00.004-07:00

There is a wonderful program called British Soccer Camp and Nolan was able to go to a mini-soccer camp for his age, meaning that pre-k was able to participate, but for a shorter amount of time each day. Nolan loved it of course and it didn't hurt that two of his neighbors/friends were in the camp with him.

Joseph, Daniel and I didn't stay every day, but a couple times we stayed the whole time to watch Nolan and cheer him on. See...the twins are totally intruiged with Nolan... They played this game of freeze. The object was for the kids to take their ball across the field, with Coach Chris turned away. But when he turned around, if he caught them moving, they had to go to the starting line. It was hilarious...here, Chris is saying, "Nolan, I've got my eye on you." And Nolan is trying not to dissolve in a fit of giggles. Coach Chris and Nolan.

Kidisms

2011-08-31T12:30:00.002-07:00

NOLAN:

We have a new pair of shoes that we bought for N, for the start of school. He asks us to wear them everyday. One day Brian said, "Nolan, remember? What are those shoes for?" Nolan said, "MY FEET!"
One of Nolan's worries about Kindergarten is that if he has to use the bathroom, he'll miss what the teacher says. We explained if he went at designated times, he'll be okay, but he's still worried he'll have to go in between and then miss learning something.

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

The twins have this thing about shutting doors. They both want to do it...even if its a door on a hinge (like the front screen door), that closes itself. They fight over who will shut (aka slam) the doors and it terrifies me that a finger will get smashed.
The twins also fight over bringing syrup from the pantry to the table. If I ask for "help" they race to it. One brings it to the table while the other one screams bloody murder. Then I put it back and they switch, one helps and the other screams.
They both like to climb into their carseats, but also try to sneak in the back and sit next to Nolan where they giggle and giggle. One of them always gets back there while I put the other one in their seat.
Joseph and Daniel are both coming leaps and bounds with talking, repeating better and their words sound much clearer.
D loves to sing "moon moon" at night, to himself and Joseph.
J will take the shirt off one of their little stuffed animals, go in the bathroom, get a kleenex, wipe it clean and say, "poop."
Josephs first full sentence went like this: Me: Joseph, are you going to be a big boy and go on the potty, like Cami and Nolan?" Joseph: No. Me baby. No potty. Me diaper."
When I ask for a kiss, J sticks his little lips all the way out, like a big pout. D almost sucks them in, like he's getting blown in the wind. I love both expressions and both ways to the kisses!!
D's hair is as straight as can be. J's is curly. A neighbors mom told me, "Wasn't God smart to give you twins with different hairstyles to tell them apart?" I laughed and laughed and thought this was a wonderful thought!!!! Especially since she didn't mention size difference once! ;)

Ice Scream in a Bag

2011-08-28T17:29:00.003-07:00

Cheyna gave me the gift of a Family Fun magazine subscription a few years back. It always has the BEST ideas to do with kids. One of the articles for this past summer was making ice cream in a bag. You take heavy cream, vanilla, sugar, seal it in a bag. Put that bag in a bigger zip lock bag of ice and kosher salt (please look up actual instructions before doing this). Shake for 5 minutes. We couldn't believe it actually worked. Brian and I, however, did most of the shaking! The bags after shaking for 5-7 minutes: The pay off: I thought it tasted like home made ice cream that we churned as kids. It wasn't sweet enough for Nolan, but that's probably just a product of his generation. We offered it in a cup with sprinkles, etc and next time I think that would help his need for better taste...aka, more sugar. The twins ate ever last bite! This will definitely be a summer tradition. Best done on bath nights!

Shoe Fight

2011-08-18T19:56:00.002-07:00

Both the twins like things a certain way. Joseph's worse. This is an example that ended badly...he sat in time out. But this is just an example of how they push each others buttons...

Major Brian

2011-08-18T19:22:00.005-07:00

At the beginning of this month, Brian pinned on Major in the Air Force. I can't tell you how humbled I am to be married to this guy. Nope, he's not perfect. But he's a wonderful father and a loyal and amazing husband and his integrity at his job is awesome. So, it was wonderful to see him recognized. The ceremony was a Thursday afternoon and we are so grateful to the friends and co-workers who joined us.

This is Nolan pinning the new rank on Brian's hat. Brian's last promotion was to Captain, and Nolan was in my belly! I had the honor of putting rank on his shoulders. This is us laughing because I had pretended I was going to pound the rank (a pin) into his shoulder. When I stopped, I got booed from the audience and people kept yelling for me to "do it, punch him, go for it" etc.

The big moment!

I LOVE this picture. I couldn't stop looking at Brian with googly eyes all day because life's busy. We're busy. It all goes too fast. And for one afternoon I got to stop and listen to people remind me how lucky and blessed I am to have him by my side.

Brian brought goodies for all of us. This is him giving Nolan his Captain America shield. Nolan was so excited! Joseph & Daniel didn't want picture time, but it was hard to argue, they behaved really well during the ceremony (with the help of many snacks, it did sound like their were chipmunks in the room). The boys enjoying some fun and more snacks after the ceremony. Thank you, Brian, for taking care of our family, for serving our country and for making me laugh daily. I love you.

Kimball Farms

2011-08-03T11:05:00.005-07:00

For the second year, Brian's summer picnic for his department was held at Kimball Farms. Kimball's is known for their ice cream and they have a few locations, but their "big" location has mini golf, batting cages, bumper boats along with the popular ice cream. This year we opted out of bringing the stroller. It was easier in some ways, but obviously, there was more chasing and it took longer to get around, but it sure tired the boys out!

Everyone's saying cheese, yay!! All you can eat ice cream for dessert:

We rode bumper boats with all three. Brian, Nolan and Danny rode one. I rode with Joseph. Joey did great and was laughing most of the time. D was TERRIFIED and screaming to the point that other boaters were saying, "Awww, I can't hit them!" So Brian and Nolan went back and rode solo (which by the way made Joseph furious)!!Mini golfing. Three little boys with clubs. What could possibly go wrong?

And even though they fight like crazy, they really do adore each other.

Kristy's Shower

2011-08-01T18:45:00.006-07:00

A few weeks ago we were able to spend an afternoon celebrating with one of the kindest people I know! I met Kristy through a friend at Eglin (Thanks Heather!), but even when we discovered we were both moving to Hanscom at the same time, I didn't think we would see much of them. They weren't planning on living on base...well, they changed their minds and I'm so happy they did. Kristy and her husband Chris have become good friends...they always put others first and would do just about anything for anyone. It was a fun afternoon...who doesn't love baby showers, cake and punch?? It was not a surprise party, but I love how happy Kristy looks here...and I love that she is glowing!

Very cute diaper cake one of the ladies made!

Kristy with her cake!

The guests with Kristy. Anyone that knows anything about cameras will have a good laugh on my account...I brought my tri-pod and was super excited and proud of myself. Took a picture of all of us. Later realized I had not lifted the tripod all the way, so the pictures at a terrible angle. Oops.

And just this past Friday, they welcomed Madelyn Grace into the world! Congrats!! She's so so beautiful!!!!

Kid-isms

2011-07-30T19:12:00.001-07:00

I have missed two months of kid-isms. I'm ashamed of myself!! Okay, try to attempt catch up and try to be better about this!!

NOLAN: -Calls a sandwhich with mayonnaise on it a "manny sandwhich" -When Nolan realized we were moving into a house with an extra bedroom he was very excited and said, "Now people can come stay in our customer room!" -Nolan likes to say, "Where's my pretty lady?" about his momma ;)

JOSEPH: -Asks for a hug by saying, "Ug, ug" -Likes to run away from us. Fast. He starts...looks back to make sure we see, then bolts away. Its terrifying. -Thankfully, Joseph is very good about stopping when I say there's a car and refusing to off a sidewalk without holding my hand.

DANIEL: -If I leave the room for even one minute and come back in, D screams, "Momma!" with a HUGE grin on his face and comes at me with a hug. -Will grab Joseph's shirt and not let go, just to make him mad.

Fourth of July

2011-07-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

I think that 4th of July will always be very sentimental to me. It was the due date of the twins and only days before 4th of July 09, we brought D home from the hospital. I gasp when I see this family picture, I always think I'm holding Daniel...so small and tiny. Then I see its Brian holding him...my sweet baby who was not even 5 lbs when we brought him home! Holy moly, what a time we had. I wouldn't go back to those days...and yet, I'm sad they are passed. And I would trade them for NOTHING!!

Our family of 5 4th of July, 2009. As stated, I'm holding Joseph & Bri's holding D. 4th of July, 2010.

And 4th of July, 2011. We were in the process of moving, but were able to enjoy some bbq with good friends. My goodness, what a difference two years makes!!!!! Nolan seems like such a kid now, not the baby he was. I love my boys, my family...I am so blessed!

Priceless

2011-07-22T18:12:00.003-07:00

So, we have friends that I've mentioned here on my blog often, Erica and Brien, who have two sweet little girls. The youngest (Cami) is the twins age. Their oldest, Callie, is three. The twins love both of them, but I've noticed Daniel and Cami have a strong bond and Joseph and Callie enjoy playing together alot. Back when T-ball was still going on, we would bring snacks and kid chairs, bubbles, and what not and the four of them would play together during the game. Stick with me, I have a point.

This is Callie, telling Joseph all about her pretty shoes. She was so stinkin' proud of them...and rightly so, they are super adorable.

This was Joseph's reaction:

I guess he has a bit to learn about pretending to care about such things in the interest of the ladies!

Ice Cream

2011-07-22T18:02:00.004-07:00

While Gramma and Paw Paw were visiting, we had to take them out for ice cream. I often tell Brian, one thing about Boston is that they take their ice cream seriously! And Daniel takes HIS ice cream seriously. Mmmm... Paw Paw was not disappointed. The twins were doing their hugging game with Grandma. They run full speed away, turn, give a michevious smile and then run back for a tackle/hug. Obviously Gramma didn't like this game AT ALL ;)

They have a huge tree that Nolan loves to climb after his ice cream is gone, melted or dropped.

My boys!

Preschool Grad

2011-07-18T14:25:00.003-07:00

Yep, its official. Nolan is a kindergartner. I refuse to be mushy about this. Yet. This is a picture of all the preschoolers. You can't see Nolan very well, but I like how he's waving. Or its another kid waving and it looks like his arm. I'm not exactly sure, so I'm just going to go with he was waving at me.

J-bear clapping for Nolan.

Gramma & PawPaw were there to celebrate, too!

Daniel was enjoying a snack while waiting for the ceremony. Teacher's gifts...

I figured the last day would be hectic, so the day before I brought the camera and snapped pics of Nolan and his two main teachers. This is Miss Brown. Miss Beek. Nolan was very smitten with her! We're so so so proud of you, Nolan. Look out world!

Summer Bash

2011-07-18T13:20:00.002-07:00

I have been a blogging slacker lately. The week of June 24th, we moved houses and are now in a house with a bit more room and storage for our family! Yay! I'll have pictures of that to come, but that week we were obviously super busy. The next week disappeared into a black hole when I got bronchotis and pharyingitus. That was a miserable few days and I was lucky to get my kids fed, much less unpack or update my blog. So...I am going to try really hard this week to catch up!! In mid-June, the base had their annual Summer Bash. The weather was not in our favor, but we went and played anyway and just accepted we were going to get a bit wet! We were sad the fireworks were cancelled, but it was a fun night.

Nolan was very happy to enjoy a snocone. Before dinner... The airplane was a HUGE hit with Joseph. Daniel refused to try, but J went on a few times!

All the boys had a turn on the slide (the twins with us), but I didn't get pics. I did, however, get a picture of Erica with her girls. Weeee!

Beach Party

2011-06-24T05:32:00.006-07:00

We had the twins birthday party the Saturday following their actual birthday. It was a beach theme...so of course, Mother Nature thought it would be funny to have it rain most of the day. We had originally planned on having a kiddie pool and slip and slide, but the torrentual downpour an hour before their party was our final decision against such activities. Thankfully the rain stopped enough that the kids could enjoy the outdoors some and Brian could still grill.

And this breaks my heart, but I was really good about taking a bunch of pictures before guests arrived, because I knew it would be hectic. And it was. And I wouldn't change it, because we're so blessed to have so many people we adore. But I didn't get ONE picture of Nolan, who was in a matching shirt. Not one picture of Brian or myself. And certainly no family photo. Oh well, it did make me take a vow to get a family shot every weekend, no matter what.

I got a bit creative this year and made their banners.

I made the cupcakes, but ordered these adorable cupcake wrappers and toppers from Etsy.

I made their hats, too.

Unfortunately, they had no interest in wearing them. Thats okay, Cami liked my crafting...And the boys liked the cupcakes, so I guess that's the important part.

The "crab" cakes that the cupcakes were served on. Kathy and Dennis actually made these, they turned out super cute! The food was served in beach pails!

Mary, enjoying dessert! Callie: Their birthday present. We have had our eye on one of these since Nolan fell in love with it at Andi and Mark's years ago. Now that we have 3 boys, it just seemed like a good time. The boys LOVE it!

Duck Tour

2011-06-23T06:46:00.004-07:00

On the twins birthday we took the family downtown and started off the day by eating lunch at Legal Seafood. I had envisioned us eating outside, but mother nature had other ideas. Thankfully, they sat us next to the huge fish tank, which the boys loved! It was very kid -friendly and the food was really good. Then we headed across the street to board our duck boat. Its a tour (on land) of the city of Boston, but then goes into the Charles river. The boys loved it!

Our duck boat:

The boys in front of the boat. On the way back, we stopped at Modern Pastry, a local favorite. They are famous for their canoli's, but we opted for cupcakes instead.

Nolan had the job of putting candles in the cupcakes.

Nicely done, Nolan!

Joseph didn't want to wait until we were done singing to blow out his candles:

Nolan helped with D's first candle, so we made sure he got to blow out the other one: Daniel then took the candle out and ate some icing off of it. Then he took a big bite of candle. This is Brian trying to get the wax out, but then D bit him. Apparently candle wax is tasty. Joseph was really good at sharing: The boys both ate all the icing, but very little cake.

To My Youngest Boys

2011-06-23T06:05:00.005-07:00

Dear Joseph & Daniel,

Another year has passed. Well, a little more than a year, but I've learned that life with twins means being late a lot and this post is no exception. Two years ago we embarked on the scariest adventure of our lives. We welcomed you both into our lives on a sunny June afternoon, earlier than we expected, but late enough that we knew we were blessed that I could carry you so long. When I read my posts leading up to those days and the days after, I am amazed, humbled, saddened and overjoyed all at once. I can't fathom that I had to have a baby that I couldn't see, hold, touch or talk to for a full day. Daniel, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to you. And Joseph, I look at those days when it was just you and I fondly, knowing I leaned on you in a way I never expected to and you saw me through some very scary and dark times, that were also laced with such beauty and perfection. I guess bittersweet is the word I should use. But those days are behind us, and now my days are filled with chasing, being a referee, kissing boo-boo's, reading stories, feeding, cleaning up, changing diapers, getting hugs, getting kisses and laughing.

I've learned that life with twins means never being able to make a quick trip to the store. Someone will ALWAYS stop us for a friendly chat. I've learned that there are a lot of people out there that don't have filters. I've learned that having more than one child is a juggling act and that mommy guilt is an ever present emotion. I've learned that two children that grow in the same womb at the same time can be total opposites. I've learned that I could have the hardest day possible and then two little toddlers decide they want a double snuggle and climb into my lap to be rocked and sang to sleep and my day suddenly turns into the very best day in the whole wide world. I've learned that hearing my youngest say my oldest names is magical. I've learned that double (and triple) laughter is the best sound. I've learned that bathtime with two little boys is a very messy job. I've learned that love languages are spoken differently for each child. I've learned that this job is hard, but important. I've learned that being a mommy is not pretty, but being YOUR mother is beautiful. I have enjoyed the past two years so much sweet boys and I look forward to the next year. I love you both all the way to the moon and back.

Love, Mommy

Silly Goose

2011-06-20T13:13:00.002-07:00

Nolan has gotten to the age where he LOVES hearing stories about my childhood and Brian's childhood. I've mentioned before that I come from a long line of pranksters, so Nolan gets a kick out of things my family did to me. He often says, "Mom, is your dad mean?" I'll laugh and say, "No, why?" He'll answer, "Well, he used to put you on the fridge, that's mean!" Yes, my dad did put me on top of the fridge, but I always giggled and laughed and he would pretend to leave the room to take a nap and I would laugh and protest. Nolan explained he would have just climbed down onto the counter, but then I explained when I grew up there was no counter next to the fridge. He was stumped. So when we arrived at Fourth Cliff and the fridge had no escape route (attached counters), Nolan was very excited!

Memorial Day Weekend

2011-06-20T12:46:00.005-07:00

Memorial Day weekend was chalk full of get togethers, BBQ's, dinners out, friends and family outings. Friday my sweet friends took me and Cheryl out for a birthday dinner and then we relaxed outside with sangrias when we got home. Unfortunately I didn't snap one picture that night. The next night Brian and the boys took me out for sushi and then we came home and had cake that Nolan and Brian spent all day making. Brian also cleaned the house so that friends could join us for the cake...I'm so spoiled!

If you can believe it, it tasted even better than it looked!!

Monday we took the boys to the city for some water play and to eat at Quincy Market. If you've never been to Boston, Quincy Market has a ton of little eatieries, street performers and shops. We grabbed a cheap bite to eat and took it outside to eat.

On a whim, we decided to take a carriage ride downtown. The boys loved it! Of course, Nolan's favorite part was when the carriage ride was over and as we passed the horse, he decided to potty and splashed a different passer byer. Nolan laughed so hard I thought he might bust a rib. The fountain:

The twins wanted nothing to do with the fountains, but were more than happy to snack while Nolan played. The pretty greenery/arch tunnel. It probably has an actual name, but I don't know it. Nolan being a goofball after playing on a playground:

More pictures of Memorial Day to follow...

Fourth Cliff

2011-06-13T18:22:00.007-07:00

The week before Memorial Day weekend, we took a mini-vacation to Fourth Cliff, a place the Air Force owns on the Cape. Upon a friends' suggestion, we requested the house by the playground and it was perfect. Great view and although the water wasn't out our back door, the playground was!

View from our deck at sunset:

Nolan befriended a worm!

D reminds me of Grandpa D in this picture: Joseph and Daddy throwing rocks:

Joseph was a bit unsure of the water at first.

Brian & Nolan go after a crab, who was not as dead as we originally thought. One night a friend and their 3 kiddos joined us for some beach play and dinner! This is most of the gang running wild down the hill.

This picture is decieving. It appears they LOVED playing in the sand and water. But everytime the tide came in, the water would startle them and they would scream for 5 minutes until we could convince them we had moved far enough away and they were "safe." They did have fun, though! Three superheros eating popcorn after a long beach day! Brian & Nolan (mostly Bri) making names in the sand:

Daniel Update

2011-06-06T07:50:00.003-07:00

Hi, just a quick note, for anyone that's not on facebook with me or hasn't heard, Daniel's surgery last Wednesday went smoothly and perfectly! His "tethered" cord was extra tight, so it was very good he recieved the surgery. He was a real trooper. He had to lie flat for almost two full days. All he wanted when he woke up was to be held and he was so mad I couldn't pic him up. He would reach his little arms up and cry, "Momma, momma, Mooooommma!" over and over. I would crawl into bed with him, try to comfort him, but he was so angry, he would turn his face away, tears streaming down. Eventually he would begin slapping me in the face, which is what I wanted to do to the doctors for not letting me hold my baby. Then he would give in, sigh, drink some juice, eat, and watch tv. On Friday morning the doctor gave me the thumbs up to hold him. I didn't hesitate for a second. I picked him up and D heaved this huge relieved sigh and buried his head into my chest, glued to me for the rest of the day. We came home later that afternoon and we couldn't slow him down. He chased his brothers, played, ate and laughed. But most importantly, he got to sit on my lap and I got to sing him his night time lullaby the way its meant to be...child in his momma's arms, rocking back and forth, cradled close. Many, many thanks for prayers, support and love. We are so blessed. And so very grateful.

Sweet Daniel

2011-05-31T18:07:00.003-07:00

In many ways, it seems like January 11th was yesterday, but in many other miraculous ways, we've seen Daniel flourish and grow and benefit from his heart surgery. But we shouldn't get too comfortable, because life with Daniel has helped us shape a new normal. One I wouldn't change, exchange, or trade for the world. That being said, when a baby is being formed inside the womb, during that miraculous stage of life, the heart and spine form at the same time. So it is not uncommon that if one has an abnormality, the other can too.

We knew when Daniel was born that there may be a problem with his spine, but it was a "wait and see" scenario. Not what I wanted to hear at the birth of one of my children, especially when he was about to have open heart surgery at 4 days old. I've said it before, but I like to plan, to know...some would say control, but I just don't like to feel like I have no control. But, with Daniel's conditions, I often have little to no control. As D grew, it became more apparent that there was a curve in his spine, but the reason remained uncertain. After many tests, and most importantly, after the more pertinent heart surgery was behind us, he was diagnosed with a tethered spinal cord. The spinal cord normally hangs loose in the canal, free to move up and down with growth and bending and stretching; a tethered cord is held taut at the end, or anchored down. The solution is to cut that cord loose, or as the surgeon told me, "We go in and snip it."

We recieved a diagnosis a few weeks ago, and surgery was scheduled quickly, for tomorrow morning. Unlike his heart surgery, we haven't had as much time to mentally prepare, which is both good and bad. I liked that it wasn't a shadow, lurking behind every thought for months. But I also didn't have time to adjust or get used to it and today I've been rather weepy and sad. I know it could be much worse and our blessings are too many to count. Still, if you have a moment tonight or tomorrow to send up a prayer for strength for our family, understanding for Joseph & Nolan, peace for Brian and I and a successful surgery for Daniel, we would appreciate it. I'll admit it, I'm scared that our good fortune is just going to run out one day. I need to feel God's presence and I need to focus on His love for me and especially for my sweet boys. Thanks for listening, supporting and praying.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Farmin'

2011-05-31T04:50:00.006-07:00

A few weeks ago we returned to Davis Farmland. This year we remembered to look up the free military day, so the whole family was able to get in at no charge, which is a HUGE deal! :) We packed a lunch, so our spending money was spent on food for the animals and ice cream for us!

I got a new lens a few days prior, so I was still learning the ropes and the lighting stinks in a few. I'm learning, though!! Joseph meeting a baby pig.Nolan riding a pony.

Daniel feeding a goat. It took some convincing to get him near them initially, but he eventually warmed up to them.

Nolan was able to hold a baby chick. He also got to milk a goat, but I wasn't quick enough for a picture. He milked her the first try and then got grossed out when milk actually came out.

There's a fishing pond, with hooks and metal fish. All three boys loved this!

This picture is actually better than the ones I tried to get of them when they were looking at me...they refuse to sit still together for a picture. Nolan riding his car.

2011 Mommmy's Day

2011-05-31T04:31:00.003-07:00

As we near the end of May, I suppose I should try to play some catch up on blog posts. We had a fantastic Mothers Day. The boys really spoiled me. We started out at Tyler and Jess's with an awesome brunch made by the dads. The kids got energy out while the mom's relaxed. After brunch we came home and played outside the rest of the day! Mommy and my Danny: J-Bear : Cami, trying to convince Joseph to come play. He was so shocked when shse grabbed his hand that he just froze!!! I love this picture. Look at his face!! Nolan and his friend Ashlynn: Cheryl, Jess, myself & Erica:

T-ball

2011-05-20T07:09:00.004-07:00

Nolan is very excited to be playing t-ball. He's even more excited because two of his best buds, Trenton and Tyler, are on his team. Their team is the Red Sox. Pretty ironic, don't you think? The problem? Many of our Bostonian friends are celebarting that Nolan is wearing his Red Sox hat everywhere. They ask, "Nolan, do you love the Red Sox?" Of course, his oblivious answer is an excited, "YEP!! I love the red sox!" This may be one divided family when it comes to sports...I had a feeling it may happen here if nowhere else. But I will say this...at least we aren't the Yankees!!! All joking aside, this brings me so much joy. I'm so excited that we are starting sports and all the fun that goes along with it...I know before I know it my days will be filled with practises and games. I really will be a soccer mom. And I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

Our Red Sox Team!!! One of his coaches is Brian. This is Cami, Erica & Brien's youngest daughter. She's the same age as the twins...and so stinkin' adorable!! Goldfish kept these boys from chasing big brother onto the field...mostly. There's my little man. He looks way too grown up.

Catching a ball...

Throwing a ball...so proud of him!!

I know I'm his momma, but he's too cute for words.

Running the bases.

Dining Out

2011-05-17T14:48:00.004-07:00

When I talked to my dad on Sunday I got in trouble. Apparently he heard through the Facebook grapevine that there were pictures of Brian and I dressed up. I tried to argue that he could just join facebook, but he had the same tone that he had that night I stayed out past my curfew in high school (at Denny's...drinking coffee, I was an insanely crazy teenager), so I kept my mouth shut. But I am, as usual, behind on blogging. A couple of weeks ago, Brian and I attended his Dining Out, a formal Air Force Dinner. It was a fun night and I loved getting all dolled up!

Brian and I: There was a centerpiece contest. The guys put an IOU on a napkin for a centerpiece. We didn't win. There are alot of crazy rules at Dining Out, so I didn't get a ton of pics. I am borrowing this from Brooke. These are some of my favorite Hanscom ladies! This guy is my favorite hottie. He looked so good that night.

I wore this dress on our cruise a few years ago and have been hoping for a Dining Out since. I really love this dress. And I had my hair done and if I ever win the lottery I will have someone who can do my hair everyday.

Martha's Vineyard

2011-05-10T03:27:00.005-07:00

I know that in everyone's life, change is constant. Everyone deals with change and most of us, at some point, fight the change to some degree. That being said, I feel for military families change is a part of our everyday lives and we have to adjust so regularly that change is the norm. But I'm finding that just because its the norm...and just because I know its coming...doesn't make it any easier. Two of our friends (and their families, of course) are moving this summer. One we knew about, but one move was a surprise, even for them. So it was even more important for the women of the group to try to steal away for a weekend and enjoy one last roo-ha before the moves. Even though I hate saying good-bye (and I'm not yet), I wouldn't change these friendships for the world.

Myself, Cheryl, Jess, Kristy & Erica. This was our first night and we were at the harbor, eating and getting ready to board the ferry to Martha's Vineyard. I had my first lobster roll....and it was amazing!!!!

The ferry...you can see by the windows we rode at sunset and it was gorgeous!

Erica at brunch!

Cheryl & I posing for Jess, our on site photographer.

At the beach on Saturday. We were so lucky...Erica's co-worker has a house on the vineyard and was able to give us the native tour. Otherwise we wouldn't have seen half the cool stuff we did or know where to eat. This was a hidden gem beach!

Jess & Erica were brave enough to walk out and climb this mossy rock! The water was freezing!

The famous gingerbread houses...us in front of one.

I felt like I needed to prove myself after the girls climbed on the rock, so I climbed a tree!

No ones going to tell us we can't have ice cream before dinner!

Jess & Kristy at dinner Saturday.

My pancakes...fresh rasberry filled. Look at that water!!!!

It was a fantastic weekend, but by Sunday afternoon I was ready to get home and see the boys!!

To those that call me Mommy

2011-05-08T06:01:00.004-07:00

My boys, my sweet, wild, always-on-the go boys...we've made it another year, to another Mothers Day. Another year that humbles me with its miracles. Thanks for making me your mommy. And the tradition continues...

Daniel, Because I'm your mommy...

I get see you wave and blow kisses to everyone you meet.
I get to be the one who comforts you and hold you at every doctors appointment. The moment I get you out of your stroller you start crying and it breaks my heart, but I love when you nestle your sweet head in my shoulders and snuggle away your fears.
I get to see you tell me you "love me" with sign language and spoken "toddler" language.
I get to hear you call cookies, "tee-tee's" just like Nolan did.
I get to see your face light up when I walk in the room in the mornings and after nap.
I get to see you scream "Daddy" at the end of each work day and tackle Daddy with hugs.
When I have a night or day away, I get to see your face light up, hear "mommy" and I get the special welcome home tackle/hug.
I get random and unasked for kisses from you multiple times a day. This one deserves to be on my list of blessings multiple times!!!
I get to sing "moon, moon, moon" to you every nap and nighttime and you now love to snuggle on my shoulder.
I get to watch you make your own path and think for yourself regardless of what your brothers want you to do.
I get to watch you kiss your brothers.
I get to try to etch that magical smile you have upon my heart.
I get to watch you play ring around the rosie with your brothers.
I get to watch you delight in all dogs.
I get to muffle my laughs and discipline you when you've had enough of Joseph's bullying and put the smack down by simply grabbing his ear and refusing to let go.
I get to see those piercing blue eyes every single day.
I get crinkly nose smiles that melt my heart.

Joseph, because I'm your mommy...

I get to be the momma to my momma's boy.
I get to smell your sweet toddler breath each morning.
I get to wipe your tears away.
I get to watch you say "Day-Day" and point, always wanting Daniel by your side (even if its just to fight).
I get to try to figure out how that mind of your works, always thinking and pondering and going.
I get to listen to you scream for bubbles multiple times a day and delight in the purest joy in the world at blowing bubbles.
I get to watch you grab Daniels hand and run around laughing.
I get to referee the two of you, and often the three of you.
I get to run my hands through those curls of yours.
I get to give butterfly kisses. And eskimo kisses. And momma kisses. And the best part is I get them in return (this is for you and both your brothers)!
I get to watch you mimick any and everything Nolan says and does.
I get to watch you streak down the hallway in your toddler pj's, laughing in delight.
I get to cuddle with you at night while singing "moon, moon" and then cover you with your blanket just right.
I get to carry you often and snuggle you, simply because you are a snuggler.
I get to see you put your hand up in the air for me to hold and have you squeeze that beautiful little hand around my finger and walk along our way.

Nolan, because I'm your mommy...

I still get to sing the pancake song to you every night and scratch your back.
I get asked to stay after the song and cuddle with you. There are too many nights I drift to sleep in your bed, content and at peace being next to my firstborn sweet son who is growing up too fast.
I get to go to kindergarten orientation meetings.
I get to watch you fight with your brothers.
I get to watch you teach your brothers and be patient with your brothers way more often than I see you fight with them.
I get asked to go on dates with you.
I get jewelry from you on special occassions, like today when you gave me a beautiful necklace and earrings.
I get to listen to you creep in to our room every so often in the middle of the night and then hear, "Mommy? Can I sleep in your guyses bed?"
I get to answer alot of questions.
I get to laugh and laugh and laugh. I never knew being a mommy would make me laugh so much.
I get to listen to your laughter from the front of the van when you and Trenton, your best pal, are being super silly on our way home from school.
I get pictures for my fridge that make me so proud I could burst.
I get to see you play t-ball and my heart lurches at the memory of myself, in a red jersey just like yours and how it all must go so very fast.
I get to snuggle during movie and popcorn time.

Nolan. Joseph. Daniel. You are my heart. There are so many days that feel so long because its exhausting trying to keep up with you. But no day passes without laughter and hugs and kisses. No day passes that I don't thank God for you. I hope that I am getting this right. I feel like even though the days are long, the months and years are not and I want to stomp on the clock and tell it to slow down. My babies. Even my babies are growing out of babyhood and into toddlers and soon into boys. When you grew in my stomach and I felt that miraculous joy, I couldn't imagine that you would ever grow up. Would any of us have children if we grasped that we would have to let you grow up? And yet, I cherish the growing, the learning and the memories. And I cherish and adore the three of you uniquely and differently and equally. I love you boys. I adore you. Thank you for making me a mother. Love, Mommy

Easter Sunday

2011-05-04T14:42:00.003-07:00

Easter Sunday we started off with baskets and eggs, then to a beautiful service at church. After church we hosted a last minute get together with friends. The bunny even made a stop by our house and hid eggs in the backyard while the kids were inside playing!

Joseph looking for eggs: Daniel realized there was candy in the eggs and would hunt no more, he ate his treasure!!

Nolan and D pose for Miss Jess:

Nolan didn't get the "golden" dollar bill egg, but I think he got the highest hidden egg!! :) Love this pic, thanks Jess! Nolan, Trenton, Tyler, Evan & Ashlynn:

I have some video of the egg hunt and of Easter morning on the point and shoot, I will try to upload soon!

Painting Eggs

2011-05-04T12:28:00.003-07:00

The Friday before Easter we got take out from a local sandwhich shop (Nellio's...so so good) and had a relaxing night of dying eggs. I only cracked 4 of the dozen while hard boiling them!!

April Kid-Ism's

2011-04-30T08:00:00.001-07:00

NOLANISMS:

Instead of "instructions" Nolan says, "Re-structions."
Nolan was shocked one morning when he saw me putting on deodorant. He screamed, "But you don't have hair under your arms!!!" (Daddy told him he couldn't put deoderant under his arms until he had hair, but he always lets him pretend to put deoderant on with the cap on).
We were tying to get Nolan to repeat something we were saying. Brian said, "Say it out loud." Nolan screamed it at the top of his lungs. "You said to say it loud..."
Nolan calls his bookshelf a "book dresser." Which in all fairness is very accurate...there are drawers on the bottom for clothes and a hutch/booksheld on top.
Joseph started choking one night at dinner (and was totally fine), but after the fact Nolan said, "Poor Joseph, his throat is too small." It took us a second to realize he meant, the food was too big, so J's throat must be too small....
When I was having a chat about being nice to some of his friends after a disagreement, he said, "Well, they were being mean and I had to stop them." We had a longer talk....
Nolan felt bad for laughing at Joseph & Daniel when they were being naughty, so he apologized (on his own accord) and then said, "Sometimes God just shoots a laugh in me."
Nostrils are called "Nose Holes."
Nolan got whoppers for Easter and asked, "Why are they called whoppers, does it jump up and whop you in the face?"

Joseph & Daniel:

Their language is taking off!!! They are saying lots of words and even putting two words together...it almost seems overnight.
The twins will repeat whatever Nolan says, which is great speech practise. Nolan's favorite words to teach them are: eyeball, booger, chickenbutt, duck cheese, etc....
If I am present, J will NOT let Brian do simple things. It has to be me. For example, if he can't reach his milk, he'll say "Mik!" Brian will hand it to him. Joseph FREAKS OUT! "No!! Momma! Momma! Momma!" We are working on it, but as you can imagine, it takes a toll, its so hard to not get involved when you know its an easy fix.
D will not stay out of the fridge. He likes to explore and recently the water pitcher fell and got him soaked. Luckily he was not hurt.
J will not stay away from the DVD player. He opens it, takes out a DVD and puts a new one in, then gets frustrated the movie won't start...see, its not a generation thing, DVDs, VCRs, they will always be tricky!!
They scream "Da-Da!" to anyone in uniform.
These boys are ready for outdoor weather...they want to spend 24/7 outside and when we do bring them inside they have the most awful meltdowns I've ever seen!

Note to Easter Bunny

2011-04-29T10:17:00.003-07:00

Just in case you can't read this, its from Nolan, written by his babysitter the eve of Easter. It was next to a plate of carrots and a painted egg (with a bag of ice): Dear Easter Bunny, The egg has to be cooled, so make sure you have some ice. I hope you have a happy Spring! I hope I was good enough for a chocolate Bunny. I really would like one. Thank you very much. -Nolan

Thankfully, EB did bring Nolan a chocolate bunny!!!

Childrens Museum

2011-04-28T17:27:00.004-07:00

The same day we attended the base Spring Fling, we also had passes to the Boston Children's Musuem. For any local folks, if you are a library member, you can't beat this deal. For four people, its only $3 each and active duty member is always free!

The museum is behind the boys, across the water.

Joseph:

Daniel:

Nolan:

Nolan & Joseph rolling golf balls down the hill:

When the boys had seen and played with all there was to see (their favorite was the ball room, we visited that one twice), we headed for a stroll around the area. It was such a nice day...until suddenly a storm rushed in and we got a bit soaked!

It was a long, fun filled day that we finished off with some lazy pizza and early bedtimes!

Spring Fling

2011-04-18T05:07:00.004-07:00

The first weekend in April the base spouses club put on their annual Spring Fling. There were baked goods, crafts, egg hunting...and snow!! Well, snow left over from the day before. It didn't stop the kiddos from having a blast.

These are the boys waiting to start. This is the last year they'll be in the same egg hunt, next year Nolan will be in the school age hunt.

Daniel could care less about picking up the eggs, but LOVED watching the action.

Joseph was grabbing as many eggs as he could.

The boys showing us their eggs.

Katelyn & Nolan:

Joseph and Daniel were not fans of the Easter Bunny. If I got within eyesight of him, Daniel would shake his head and scream, "No! No!" So we didn't torture them by making them sit on his lap.

Chocolate Messiness

2011-04-06T11:00:00.003-07:00

Eating chocolate ice cream can be messy... Wow, even Nolan felt the need to be really messy...

But the messiest award really does go to Daniel.

Love that chocolate smile!!!!

Fenway Lunch

2011-04-05T12:35:00.001-07:00

We met Becky (and her hubby, Tim) when we lived in Florida. They lived right down the street from us and when I was pregnant with the twins, Becky was preggers with her beautiful Emily. I got a message from her that she was visiting a friend in Boston and would like to meet up. I was so excited!!! We met her and her friend at a brewery/restaurant right across from Fenway Park. It was wonderful to see Becky and catch up!!! Its funny...military life is tough. We seem to always be saying good-bye. But its days like these, lunches like these, that make it all worth it. Meeting with a friend and chatting as if a day has not passed. Thanks, Becky, we had a blast!!! Nolan & Miss Becky: Becky's friend, Erin, is on a bowling league and we stopped in for a bit. This a 3 story bowling alley, and it was the coolest place I've ever seen. It was hip and trendy, so I fit right in with my 3 young kids! HA! ;) Opening day for the Red Sox is Friday!!! We are looking forward to going to a game this summer!

My Date!

2011-04-04T14:05:00.002-07:00

Nolan has been asking me for a couple weeks if and when we could go on a "date night" with just him and I. We picked Friday night. Nolan picked our dinner destination...McDonald's. Then we wandered around Barnes & Nobles, riding the HUGE escalator, a treat for Nolan since riding escalators with a double stroller is a no-go. Then we went to see HOP and pigged out on popcorn, candy and sprite. I loved every second of it and Nolan was as sweet as he could be. He told joke after joke (it was April Fool's, after all). We laughed and laughed together and enjoyed not having to hurry around or be distracted. Nolan wanted to wear this necklace so he could be extra "handsome" for our date and he asked Brian if he would take our picture before we left (Joseph wanted in on the pic). And...the best part? My date and I held hands all night!!!!

March Kidisms

2011-03-31T09:49:00.004-07:00

NOLANISMS:

Nolan will often ask me, "How do you know?" if I answer one of his many questions. I told him, "Nolan, mommies know everything." He got quiet and then said, "Is Katelin riding her bike?" Distracted, I said, "I don't know, Nolan." He smirked. "See, mommies don't know EVERYTHING."
This a repeat, I think, but Nolan still pronounces Chuck E Cheese as "ChuckYJesus."
One Saturday morning the twins slept in till 8:30 or so. Brian and I were snuggled in, enjoying the extra lazy time in bed, but Nolan wasn't having it. He declined snuggling with us and went off to play...or so I thought. He climbed on the counter, got himself a bowl, got into the cabinet, pulled out a new cereal box. Opened it. Taped the top because he ripped it opening it. Poured cereal into bowl. Poured milk into bowl. Cleaned up spilled milk. Carried bowl to table. Happily ate like the big, independant boy he is and proudly told us of his adventures when he was finished.

JOSEPH & DANIELISMS:

They scream Mama and Dada for us. Loudly.
They adore bubbles. Love them and both ask for them, and say the actual word!!! "Bubba, bubba."
They want to take baths all day everyday. At least three times a day they do the sign for bath. They also will put their face in the water. Quite a change from a few months ago when they went through a stage of being terrified of the bath.
They will put up their hands as if saying "where is that/she/he/it" and say Da-Da, while he's at work.
They beat each other sensless in the shopping cart. Daniel also has taken to giving Joseph wet willies in the cart...how he thought of that, I'll never know, but Joseph gets so stinkin' mad!!! (wouldn't you?)
Joseph can say "ball" very clearly!
D continues to repeat what we ask him to pretty clearly.
Both boys continue to amaze me with their sign language. Joseph saw a clip of cookie monster and made up a sign for him (he puts his hands to his mouth as if eating cookies). He LOVES cookie monster. I'm not really that surprised!
They go around doing the sign for "baby" because they LOVE that clip of the 18 month old twins that is going around all the TV shows and internet. They will watch it over and over and over!

Favorite Color

2011-03-31T07:37:00.006-07:00

I'm one of those wishy washy people that can never make up my mind about my favorite color. But these days, I would say blue. Blue is my favorite color. Three glorious different shades of blue.

Strawberry Swiper

2011-03-28T11:26:00.002-07:00

Danny's newest discovery...he can open the fridge. He's really proud of himself. And pretty sneaky....

Basket Auction

2011-03-24T10:54:00.004-07:00

Last weekend we attended the Spouses Club basket auction. All the proceeds go to give scholarships to the military students heading off to college. Its such a great program and so so much fun. They had silent auctions when we first arrived and a live auction during dinner. We won a bid on a dog stay for Tootsie at the kennel we use (not very exciting, I know). And then during the live auction we went in with two other couples and won a dinner for a later date. And we won this cheesecake, yummy!

Jess, Erica, myself & Robyn:

Brian and I.

All the ladies want pictures with Brian because of his HOT MARCH MUSTACHE!

I've Missed this Boy...

2011-03-21T14:25:00.004-07:00

I've really, really missed this boy

...the total goofball, ...the boy, who won't cooperate when I want to take pictures, when the sun was finally shining again... ...the boy who shines brighter than any sunshine I know... ...with that mischevious gleam in his eye. Oh Nolan, I've missed that boy this past week that the flu has stolen from you. I pray and hope that none of my kids ever have to go through something that awful again! Thankfully, Nolan has now been fever free for 2 1/2 days! And thankfully tamiflu seems to have spared the rest of us!

Naptime

2011-03-16T12:05:00.002-07:00

This is a very typical and normal naptime for the twins in our house. It's about 50/50 if they sleep at all, and on days they do nap they wake up shortly after and play. I don't mind a bit, but worry that when they are not "locked up" in cribs and have big boy beds, they will not stay put in their rooms....but for now, its pretty amusing.

Playing

2011-03-16T08:46:00.007-07:00

Nolan, always sweet on his momma, wanted to show me the hearts he made me. He asked if I would take his picture.

Joseph had to show me his playdough artwork...

Meanwhile, Daniel was hamming it up with big brothers helmut. Here he's saying "cheeeeese."

Family

2011-03-16T08:02:00.003-07:00

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with family while I was in St. Louis. I was able to spend some quality time with Jack, my big brother, which is rare. Living far away just doesn't present the opportunity very often. Sure, he could come visit...(hint, hint)... Anyway, here are some more lively pics of our crew.

My cousin, Vinny (yes, that's really his name. And that's really my cousin), Jack & my cousin Bobby. This picture makes it look like we went to a bar. Maybe we did...for dinner. I can neither confirm nor deny. But my dad's face sure gives it away. And my brother holding darts doesn't help much either. Meghan and I. She's glowing because she's a new mommy and it suits her so well!!! Meghan's newest love, Mr. Malachy. I love him and got a huge baby fix cuddling him up!!! Speaking of babies, how cute is this kid? My cousin, Jeremy (and his wife Ashley)'s son. Jeremy's other son, Mason and Austin (Tammi & Scott's youngest) playing video games.

Grandpa D.

2011-03-11T13:49:00.005-07:00

I could not say it better, so I am borrowing my big brothers words of farewell to our grandfather.

Today we mourn the loss of a great man, Jack, family man, tail gunner in WWII, business entrepreneur, all around super grandpa. Jack is survived by 4 children, 7 grandchildren, 16 great grand children and 1 great great grandchild. You will be missed Grandpa, love you always. 1922-2011.

I am really blessed to have such special memories of Grandpa. I'm also very blessed that Brian is such a huge supporter of family and insisted I return for the memorial service. It means the world to me. I'm all around blessed to also have friends who helped Brian with the boys here in Boston and family in St. Louis (mostly big brother Jack) who carted me around and took care of me. I know Grandpa is in a very special place with Grandma and I imagine them getting the pool ready in Heaven for a reunion we will all someday have, basking in the sun, worry-less and pain free, surrounded by all whom we love and those that love us.

These are from last October, the last time I saw Grandpa. I hold this visit so close to my heart because he was able to meet the twins, see Nolan and was even making jokes and laughing.

Grandpa had a military funeral, so even though I'm sure it would have been anyway, it was a tear jerker.

Grandpa's four children. Aunt Dee, Aunt Jeanne, Dad & Aunt Terri: (More pictures of the visit in a post to come...)

Someday...

2011-03-02T13:44:00.001-07:00

Oh Joey, someday you'll be so angry at me.

All About Nolan

2011-03-01T14:38:00.003-07:00

Every week Nolan's class picks a child that is featured in "All About Me" week. They get to fill out a poster and then each day bring in something special (like show and tell). We were so proud of Nolan's poster, which he did all by himself. We would tell him how to spell things, but he did the rest! Joseph and Daniel wanted to help. Alot! Nolan listed his friends, but did say there wasn't enough room to write all of them. (Listed are Katelin, Trenton, Griffin & Madie) Favorite Foods (Fluffernutter and PB & J).

Finished Product. Nolan wouldn't tell us much about it, but from the sounds of it, he loved being the center of attention.

Kid-Isms

2011-02-28T19:32:00.003-07:00

NOLAN:

Outside of his preschool class Nolan was showing me a painting of his snowman. He seemed very proud to show me, Gramma (who was in town) and one of his favorite teachers. He explained, with glee, that the two purple dots on the second to top circle of the snowperson were boobies. That's my boy.
Nolan was in trouble and Brian said, "I am going to have to take stories away tonight." Nolan said, "No, you don't." So Brian said, "What should I take away?" Nolan picked up a 'baby' toy and said, "This." Brian said, "Will that make you sad?" Nolan said, "No." So Brian said, "Try again." Nolan went through his bin of monster trucks and found a broken monster truck and handed it to Brian. And on and on it went.
Nolan asked me if Brian and I would die before him (deep, right?). I said I didn't really know, but I sure hoped not. He was worried he would be all alone and I assured him that there would always be someone to take care of him and love him lots. Without missing a beat, he said, "If you die, I could go to Gramma and Pa Pa's house, but I'll have to use the GPS."
I then told him, I hope we're all old and wrinkly when we all die. He said, "If you're wrinkly I might not love you, because you're not pretty anymore. I love you because you're so pretty." I was so relieved the mood was lightened that I didn't go into that issue....
Nolan was in the bathroom combing his hair and he saw my hair bobby pin with the jewel on it. He asked Brian “What is this for?” Brian told him it was to hold up Mommy’s hair since her hair is long. He laughed and said “Mommy’s not Rapunzel!”

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

The boys are both getting speech therapy through the local group that helps Daniel with nutriton and physical therapy. They've been evaluated and the result was that it was very obvious that they understand, but they are behind on receptive language, which is a technical way to say "talking." An AWESOME woman comes out once a week and bascially plays with them and then helps give me pratical tips. We also get to go to a once a week playdate, with awesome toys, slides, hands on activities and other kids their age. Already their speech is improving! This is not something I was terribly worried about and knew they would talk in their own time, but poor Joseph gets so so so frustrated and angry when he can't communicate what he wants, we really appreciate the help. They have encouraged us to keep using sign language to bridge the gap and both boys can communicate most of their daily needs through this (drink, milk, napkin, eat, bath, please, thank you, yes, no, more).
They both love to sing, and adore "the itsy bitsy spider." They do the appropriate hand gestures for the song. At night when I sing "moon, moon" song, Joseph says, "Mooo"
Joseph will often hold up one little pudgy finger, right in front of his nose and his lips always go in this little "O" like he's about to kiss you. We ask, "One more time?" And he always nods happily! Daniel has taken to doing this, too, but his finger usually goes straight into his eye.
The boys LOVE butterfly kisses and shriek with laughter when I give them.
When either is mad or frustrated they start by throwing toys, then look at me. If this doesn't get them what they want, they'll often go to a chair or table and try to knock it down. Time outs are a pretty popular hang out right now.

Its SNOW big deal

2011-02-22T08:01:00.005-07:00

Okay, so we lived in Florida for four years. Contrary to popular belief it DID get cold there. But it only snowed once (and that was the first time in 17 years, so it is indeed rare). Usually, though, in between cold days would be random warm days and winters that included grilling out and Christmases spent outside. But lets not forget that before Florida we lived in Wyoming, where most autumns found it snowing by September and every single Halloween we lived there it snowed. I expected Boston to be similar to Wyoming, so by December when we still hadn't had any significant snow I was quite frankly frustrated. I had promised the boys sledding and snow angels. Hot cocoa with marshmellows that always tastes good...but tastes the best after playing in the snow. And then, Christmas arrived with the threat of a storm the following day. And after that...the snow didn't stop!!! So far, this winter, we are at 68 inches of snow. It was the third snowiest January ever. Nolan's had 5 snow days and one delayed start. The base has had 4 snow days, with one delayed start.

Here's Brian shoveling our front sidewalk (much of Jan it was one big sheet of ice). This is one of the icecicles he was brave enough to take down.

Another view of the icecicles on our roof. There has been serious problems city wise with roofs leaking and collapsing. Our friends house had a serious leak that resulted in the celing having to be ripped into and replaced. Since we live in a quad, we have a tiny patch of grass that is our "front yard." We share that tiny patch of grass with our neighbors. Where do we put all the snow? They actually have dump trucks come take it away, thankfully. This may give you an idea... My neigbhbors across the street have a single standing home, so a bigger yard, thus resulting in less snow removal. I like seeing the snow pile growing above her van... Getting the mail was fun there for a while...that's not just snow, there is plenty of ice, too! Trees in our backyard...as much trouble as the snow has caused, this is beautiful!!

PJ's & Pancakes

2011-02-14T12:06:00.006-07:00

Saturday I had a little Valentine's party at my house for the kids and mommies. It was a PJ & Pancake party and we all sported jammies while we chowed down on pancakes, did a little craft, played and hung out. It was a fun morning and something I want to do again in the future.

Brian was the pancake master!! He made 60!

Brian thinks I went a little overboard (I believe his direct quote was, "I thought this was just pancakes?"), but this is the closest I'll ever get to decorating with pink and hearts!

Nolan picked out the pj's for himself and his brothers.

Even after chowing down forever at the table, Superman wanted more pancakes.

Callie is so sweet!! This is Nolan and his "girlfriend" (and fellow classmate), Katelin. She has decided they will be married and he's not putting up an argument.

I love this picture for so many reasons. (Cheyna, minus the superhero get up, does this remind you of anything?)

I stole this from Erica's blog (thanks Erica). Jess took some pics too, I will add more when I get them. I actually didn't take nearly as many pics as I wanted to!

CHD Awareness

2011-02-13T07:19:00.003-07:00

Febrary 7-14, 2011 is Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week. I've been blown away by the awareness that alot of my fellow heart mom bloggers have raised. I'm a total slacker, but after seeing all the effort plan to do a whole dedicated week next year. Be prepared!! This year, I will say that if you are pregnant or know someone that's pregnant, insist on getting an echo to make sure that your baby does not have a heart defect. Many defects cannot be detected in a normal ultrasound. When I look back on that day in January 2009, surrounded by people I loved,(thankfully), and the doctors delivered the news, my heart breaks all over again. It is still painful to think about that day. But I shudder to think of how traumatic it would have been if I DIDN'T know and we would have delivered at a hospital that didn't have the surgeons to fix Daniel's heart. Helicopter rides, ambulances, being seperated. I get sad thinking that the twins were across the street from one another after their birth, can I even grasp how sad it would have been to be hours apart??? And yet, so many parents HAVE to do this because that is when they discover that their children have heart defects!! Being prepared is hard, but its such a gift. And spread the word about CHD, please. There is so much more research that can be done and so little being done compared to other diseases. All sick children deserve hope. Lets give our heart babies that hope! Here's my hope, with his big brother. Congenital Heart Disease is considered to be the most common birth defect, and is a leading cause of birth-defect related deaths worldwide. Despite the fact that CHD affects approximately 1.8 millions families in the U.S., a relatively small amount of funding is currently available for parent/patient educational services, research, and support.

Here are some CHD facts: Congenital Heart Defect Fact Sheet -Sometime during early pregnancy, a baby's heart may not form properly, resulting in structural abnormalities known as Congenital Heart Defects. In many cases the cause is unknown.
-It is estimated that 40,000 babies with Congenital Heart Defects (CHD) are born in the United States each year.
-Although some babies will be diagnosed at birth, newborns are not routinely screened for CHD. The consequences of a late diagnosis can have serious, lifelong implications.
-CHD is the most frequently occurring birth defect, and is the leading cause of birth-defect related deaths. Nearly 1,800 infants with CHD die each year as a result of congenital heart defects
-Some CHDs may require visits to a Pediatric Cardiologist. Others can be treated with medications or repaired with surgery and/or procedures. Complex defects may require several surgeries and are never really "cured."
By sharing our experiences and providing information, we hope to raise public awareness about conditions that affect approximately 40,000 babies each year in the United States alone.It is our sincere hope that efforts to educate the public will result in improved early diagnosis, additional funding for support and educational services, scientific research, and access to quality of care for our children and adults.

First Haircuts

2011-02-07T06:38:00.006-07:00

Last weekend we did what I consider to be one of the last BIG firsts. I know, I know, there are many momenumental firsts to come...but as far as "baby" firsts, this was a big one. On Saturday a friend and neighbor cut Nolan's hair. I wanted to have her cut the babies hair, but was so unsure how they would do, plus Brian was gone, so I knew he'd want to be there. Sunday we took the boys to a kid haircut place. We let D go first, because he's so much more laid back. They both did AWESOME! Here's some before pics. Daniel's mullet:

Wow, Joey has a lot of hair. This almost looks like a mug shot.

Halfway through, she gave him a mohawk.

(He got a fat lip earlier in the week when he fell pushing a truck. That's why he has a big red dot above his lip)!

Joseph was a BIG fan of the succer.

All done, so handsome!!

I really miss the crazy curls, but she assured me they would grow back, probably thicker.

Nolan's haircut. He asks for a mohawk most days, I'll have to take a picture of that. I miss the long locks a bit, but he's so dern handsome I love this cut, too!

Peek A Boo!

2011-02-03T12:30:00.005-07:00

The transition from hospital to home has been amazing. I guess from start to finish, I didn't have anything to compare to. In some ways, yes, the hopsitals, wires, tubes, I did. But in so many thousands of ways this second heart surgery has been so different from Daniel's first, so it really went so much differently and so much better than I thought it would have gone. For starters, after his first surgery, he wasn't up walking around 3 day later. Duh, he was 4 days old. But that didn't change that I thought this time around he would come home and be sleeping most of the day...or if nothing else, sprawled in front of the tv, chilling out, recovering. And yes, everyone, from people on the street, to neighbors, friends and doctors said, "Babies recover so quickly." It fell on deaf ears because it was MY baby and quickly is quite relative. That could be 2 weeks. And if that was the case and I still had my baby after 2 weeks, I wouldn't complain. I was shocked, to say the least, when he was back to a normal routine within days of coming home.

Daniel definitely had some trouble going from sitting to standing, and was wobbly walking those first few days, making us on edge and nervous. But those first days he was also super mad we wouldn't let him go up and down the stairs. He was up a few times a night those first couple nights. At first I would offer juice, food, snuggles, but he wanted one thing only past that first initial mommy hug...TV. He had gotten very used to it at the hospital. So, once I figured out he wasn't in pain and that was his "want" I ignored it. Not him...I would go in and hug him gently and he would begrudgedly go back to sleep, but after a couple nights he stopped fussing. Thank goodness! I think most moms out there can agree that once our kids sleep through the night getting up in the night is extra exhausting.

As far as day to day, Daniel is, in my opinion, much, much better. More energy, better eating, more talking and laughing and generally less grumpy. My relationship with Daniel has flourished and though he will never be the cuddler or momma's boy that Joseph is, he does show me more affection and actually gets upset if I have to leave. And comes running for a hug when I return. I don't want to make him out to seem unnatural or myself to be unloving, but for whatever reason, Daniel has been a complete daddy's boy from day one. He still is. But now he is also a closet momma's boy, but I'm not supposed to tell you that. That week in the hospital was very hard and watching him have to be in pain over and over again broke my heart. But unlike the first surgery I was blessed to be able to leave J & N and be by Daniels side the whole time and its a blessing I don't take for granted. It grew our relationship and my appreciation for just how tough that little boy really is. And my husband is awesome and selfless...we were supposed to switch places, but when his turn came to stay with Daniel, I told him I didn't think I could go. With no judgement or guilt laid on me, Brian said he understood and helped his parents hold down the home fort. I'm so so grateful for such an awesome family. So here we are, slowly making our way back into the world. We've been to lunch, the mall, the library and lots of neighbors houses as we return to everyday activities. And I'm grateful. So grateful, for every moment, every brothers quarrel, every moment of chaos in my home. I really am so very blessed.

January Kid-isms

2011-01-31T08:33:00.004-07:00

NOLAN:

We were in the middle of a restaurant and Nolan asked, in his normal doesn't- know -how to -whisper -voice, "Mom, how come even though the babies don't drink your milk anymore your...a word I'm not supposed to say...you know, your things are still so much bigger than daddy's or mine?"
Nolan was in the bathroom with Brian combing his hair and he saw my hair bobby pin with the jewel on it. He asked “What is this for?”Brian told him it was to hold up Mommy’s hair since her hair is long. He laughed and said “Mommy’s not Rapunzel!”
At school they were talking about angels. He told his teachers, "I have an angel, its my mommy!"
We told Nolan he had to go jump in the bath and he said, "I can't do that! If I jump in the tub, I might get hurt."

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

Both boys have a very defined, and adorable, "Uh-ohhh." They especially like to say it when they throw food on the floor on purpose.
After every nightime lullaby, Joseph claps.
When D became more aware of his surroundings after surgery, he was very definite in his "yes" nods. He had done this before, but it was a HUGE help post surgery ("would you like a drink? Are you hungry? etc)...
Post surgery, even when D was still drowsy, he began blowing me kisses almost immediately. For my baby who is the least cuddly of them all, this was a very, very special gift from God.
J & D both can nod yes, or shake their head no.
They can sign "I love you." There has been about 3 times in the last couple days where Joseph, UNPROMPTED, has walked up to me and done the sign for "I love you." Makes all the frustrating moments in my day more than worth it.
Nolan leads us in grace at dinner and we always hold hands. The babies are now both participating, by grabbing our hands. We now have a full family circle of ten hands interwined and at the end when N claps and says, "Yay God! Yay, Jesus" the twins happily clap and giggle proudly.

Daniel's Home

2011-01-21T07:37:00.008-07:00

I'm waaay behind on blogging. I know that most of you follow me on facebook or know from personal calls/emails that Daniel came home Monday. But on the off chance you didn't know and were perhaps worried, I'm truly sorry that we didn't update sooner!

Here are some pictures I was able to take while we were still at the hospital. It was so amazing, so humbling and so amazing to watch the process of Daniel healing.

This was in the ICU. He was awake and watching cartoons (Nolan thought that was the coolest). Grandma and Daniel:

My first time holding him post surgery. Later this afternoon (Thursday) he was released out of ICU to the regular floor.

A picture from Nolan, Grandma & Joseph, hanging in his crib.

This is a picture taken Friday, when he was awake, not quite smiling and himself, but starting to feel better.

Slowly feeling better...enough to want a toy to play with. This was Saturday. After a VERY long Friday night dealing with bowel movements that were slow and unbelievably painful for Daniel, Saturday was a good, good day and the start of better things to come...and here's a smile to prove it! By Saturday afternoon he was completely off oxygen and doing GREAT! I got him dressed and Brian, his parents and the boys came to have dinner with us. We got pizza and ate in a family/game room on the main floor. Daniel loved seeing everyone and was able to walk with some assistance. We had cookies for dessert, courtesy of Tammy, Scott and their clan! They sent us a cookie bouquet!! So so awesome and the boys LOVED it!!

See how cute the cookie bouquet is??? Thank you so so so much Tammy & Scott!!!

By Sunday D was chowing down! And loving this "eat in bed & watch TV" thing. And one on one time with Mommy. And flirting with nurses. He probably would have been released, but they wanted to watch his tummy and make sure there were no more issues.

Ice cream at every meal...totally deserved, my sweet friend!!!

This is how D cruised the halls!

I wish there weren't a glare, but you can see D standing. He would walk around this and was also caught trying to do summersaults. This was Monday, by the way, but even Sunday he was a wild man in his bed.

Shortly after this pic was taken we got released to go home. I'll have to do another post on the transition and how Daniel has done, but overall, its been great. I want to thank each and every one who has prayed for us, thought of us, fought for us, supported for us, remembered us, called, emailed, passed a kind word along with one of our parents. Each means the world. So often people ask, "How do you do it?" Well, I could indeed write a whole post about how you just do...how do you breathe? You just do! But that being said, I certainly couldn't do it well without the amazing support we recieve. A special and huge thanks to my wonderful mother and father in law for staying with us and taking care of things at the homefront so we could focus on Daniel. So many thank you's to be said...but especially, thank GOD for one each day with our family. Thank you, thank you, thank you.....

2011-01-12T08:38:00.003-07:00

Daniel is doing well, but still not awake. We were hoping to have him awake last night, but things often change in the ICU. He has "wet lungs" which sounds scary to us, but apparently is very normal with all the fluid they gave him yesterday. We are hoping and praying to wake him soon and get him off the breathing machine.

The snow outside today, early, so there's more now! Daniel in the waiting room yesterday morning: Daniel after the oral sedation, playing with a car. So sleepy, so sweet. my good-bye to him. Way harder than I thought it would be. Danny last night:

Update on Daniel

2011-01-11T08:38:00.002-07:00

Brian and I got to the hospital with Daniel this morning around 7. Shortly after, we took him back so he could take his oral sedation. It didn't take long for him to get sleepy, but he held on like a champ, big sweet heavy eyes batting at us, then the nurses, as he played with a little toy steering wheel. He kept revving the engine and giving a half smile. The doctors were joking that he fit in as a Boston driver perfectly. I was right, this good-bye was much harder than sending him off to surgery when he was 4 days old. I wanted to crawl into his little bed with him and go with him so I could hold his hand the whole time. Speaking of which, I guess Brian and I were feeling just emotional enough that we snuck into Nolan's room late last night and brought him into our room, the reality of not seeing him for a few days hitting us hard. We watched him sleep and let him snuggle up to us, even though he never woke up. Gramma said when he woke up he was super excited to wake up in our room. That makes me happy. We are so grateful that the snow storm is not hitting today and that we didn't have to battle blizzard like conditions to get Daniel to the hospital. Thank you GOD! I do think that means we won't get to see the other 2 boys until at least Thursday. I know its not that big of a deal...I mean, if I were on a cruise or on a girls trip, I would be like, "Oh they'll be fiiiine." But I wish in my longing to hold Daniel I could have Joseph and Nolan climb into my lap right about now. Brian tried, but we got some funny looks. Ahhh, my humor remains the same, even if I'm the only one who thinks I'm funny. Anyway, we are waiting, praying, reading and yes, eating, because every nurse keeps telling us to! The staff is truly wonderful. But not as wonderful as our family and friends. Thank you all so, so much. We love you and we'll keep you updated. If you have facebook, I'm updating that first and probably more often. Thank you again for the continued support, prayers, texts and love.

The Big Day

2011-01-10T15:42:00.005-07:00

Tomorrow morning is Daniel's surgery. We spent most of the day at the hospital today doing all the pre-op work. Daniel was amazing and such a trooper through all the fasting and poking and prodding. I'll try to update facebook and our blog throughout the day as we get and know info. Thank you all so much for the support, emails, phone calls and especially prayers for Daniel and our family. We are so humbled and grateful.

Here are some cute pics my friend Jess took of our family this past weekend. We will be sporting our shirts tomorrow in honor of Big D. Unfortunately it was windy and cold and the kids were NOT happy to be outside for an impromptu photo shoot. Regardless, Jess did a great job and I'll always cherish these pictures!!

Don't you love Nolan's face? He was super cooperative...

Gramma, Paw Paw & Daniel.

The gang!

We took this picture then took Daniel inside and stopped making him pose for pictures!!! This is a video we made for Daniel. I hope you enjoy it and I would be honored if you would take a moment to pray for Daniel, all the beautiful kids we had the opportunity to meet today with heart defects, and all our children who have mended hearts.

Rhode Island

2011-01-07T12:07:00.004-07:00

A few days after Christmas, and post-blizzard, we were lucky enough to head to Newport for the day to visit my cousins! They are such wonderful people! When I was a freshman in high school they flew me out to visit them in Conneticut for my first vacation without my parents. They spoiled me for a week and took me on so many fun adventures and its a trip full of memories I still hold close to my heart. Court is my mother's cousin and they spent years of their childhood growing up together on the east coast. This is Court & Jane at lunch, where they treated us to awesome chowder and fish and chips. Seriously delicious!! This was Court and Jane's idea. They have a picture of my great grandmother, with my great aunt. There's a picture they have of the two of them in this very spot when they came for a visit in their youth. It was so crazy to stand there (far from where I was born and raised) and know my great grandmother, whom I never met, stood in the same place!

Isn't the architechture beautiful? Court & I:

It makes my heart so happy to see Court and Jane and mended some of my homesickness. Its the first place we've been stationed to have family nearby. We're looking forward to more visits in the coming year!

Its Creeping In...

2011-01-03T04:55:00.006-07:00

The time is coming that the worry and fear is creeping in. The what-ifs are starting to haunt me in my inner most core of my own heart. What if...the surgeon comes out and says Daniel didn't make it? What if...I have to tell Nolan something terrible? What if...Joseph loses his best friend? Am I even allowed to have these thoughts? Is it tacky to write about them? Probably, but I swore I would be honest. And there is a part of me that feels like if I don't visit the worst possible what-if scenario, I'm not preparing myself fully, I'm living in denial and I'm not allowing God to nuture these great and vast fears. He is the only person who can carry this burden for me, but first I have to acknowledge it. Then I have to allow him to pry this worry from my clenched fist, give it to Him and let it go. Let it go...

The truth is, in some ways I feel like I'm just getting to know Daniel. I hope I don't sound like a broken record, because I know I've said this to some of you, but it feels wrong to admit it in writing. Loving Daniel was alway different. I am no physchiatrist, but I know that some part of me put up a wall when I first saw him, attached to all those wires, unable to hold him without fear of hurting him. But I do know that even then, when I sang to him, as he lay on that table, wires going every which way, he turned his head towards me. Every time. And I knew then, saw the tiny shimmer of hope, that my son knew I was his mommy. But we still had so long to go, such a long road ahead of us, and a part of me never let myself believe he would ever come home. And then, thankfully, he did. And still, he seemed so fragile, so weak, so...angry!!! I had so much to learn about what being a fighter meant. My little warrior. My little man, with a frown and a cry for most of the first months of life, constantly screaming at me. It still makes me so sad that he was in so much pain those young months, unable to tell us why. And then, just like the dawn after a terribly cold and long and scary night, little signs of progress. A beautiful smile. Grabbing for toys. Miracles beyond my wildest dreams. Its mind blowing to me that he was walking by 13 months. Its mind blowing that he can keep up with Joseph and that he, with one look, can have the rest of us roaring with laughter around the dinner table. It's mind blowing that God picked ME to be his mommy. I feel so unworthy.

So, now I begin trying to open my clenched fists. To give my son over to God once again. I pray that he will give us countless years with Daniel, the boy I love so much it makes my bones hurt. I pray that for each of my children. But the truth is, I don't know what tomorrow or next week or next year will hold for us. So today, I thank God for how far we've come, the lessons I've been blessed to learn, the memories with each of my boys and my husband. And I hope. I hope for so much.

"The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

-Zephaniah 3:17

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T18:57:00.002-07:00

What can I say? I love fresh starts. I love that every year, I get to look back at where I was, where we've been and the memories that have accumulated throughout that time. The truth is, for me, it doesn't take the new year to do this. Birthday's, anniversaries, random dates that mean something to me...they send me down memory lane. For example, its crazy to me that a year ago the twins were 6 months old. Tiny, tiny babies, requiring more time during my day than I physically had. This year, its much the same, but with a different spin. I absolutely feel like I have more of myself back. My days, though hectic, lean towards a schedule...most days! I am grateful for the start of this new year, the amazing past year and for a fresh start and what I think most of us want. A chance for me to be a better me. The best me I can be, so that my boys are raised by not perfection, but by a mother displaying grace and goodness and kindness. So my goals are large this year, but I know, not impossible. My first resolution is the most important to me and if none of the others work out, I would still be happy. A better relationship with God. Gotta go back to square one here, Lord, its been too sparatic for me lately. More quiet time spent reading His word, letting it filter into my heart and be my compass during these hectic days of raising 3 young boys to someday, hopefully, be respectable, honorable men. Secondly, I need to take better care of myself. More exercise and definitely more rest. I need to be a better arguer with my husband. I need to say sorry first and realize his plate is as full as mine. I need to thank him more often for being the kind of father that he is and the loyal, loving husband he is. I want to change my attitude to be more positive, all the time. Not phony-fake, but positive attitude that springs from a constant grateful heart. More play time with my boys and less worrying about housework. And lastly, more writing in my journal. There you have it, folks. My new years resolutions. Its a balancing act, and I don't want to strive for perfection, but if I can baby-step my way to a better me, that makes me happy. And grateful that God not only gives me each year to re-evaluate, but each morning the sun rises and I have another chance. Here's to a year full of laughter, love, memories, forgiveness, miracles, friendships and hope.

December Kid-Isms

2010-12-31T08:33:00.001-07:00

NOLAN:

After time out one day, Nolan told me "While I was in timeout an angel was holding my arm."
He told me one afternoon, in regards to something he was eating, "I'm not a forn." I said, "Do you mean, you're not a fan?" And he said, "Yeah, thats what I meant, I'm not a fan."
Nolan has begun to talk with his hands ALOT. He uses hand gestures for every story and they are pretty dramatic.
Nolan asked why superman does not wear pants.
Two nights before Christmas Nolan got very upset at bedtime and cried and cried, convinced Santa wasn't coming because he was sure he was on the naughty list. He kept asking why God only made God perfect, and why he couldn't be perfect so he could be on the nice list. That led us down a road of explaining that trying your best does put you on the nice list and is what God wants us to do.
This week Nolan told me, "Mom, I love Daniel better than Joseph. He's my favorite." (I feel I should add that we talked further about this, but I am curious over the years how many times his favorite brother will change)!

JOSEPH & DANIEL:

When the boys take a bath, Joseph grabs the shampoo and pretend pours it on D's head, then proceeds to "wash" it.
Daniel is a WILD child in the tub, splashing his brothers crazily, laughing and getting away with it becasue quite frankly, they love it!
Joseph can be absolutely the meanest child I've ever seen to Daniel. It shocks me how violent he can be and the fact that its just instinct. If he wants to sit in a chair D is sitting in, I've seen him pull Danny by the neck, ear and head (different occassions) off the chair. If he wants a toy that D has, I've watched him slap D across the face!! He sits in time out at least 5 times a day, and that helps, but its also funny to me that by 18 months he knows exactly what time out is, to stay sitting and that afterwards he gets a hug.
On the flip side, so you don't think J-bear is a monster, he babies Daniel daily, as if instead of his twin, D is the baby brother. He follows him with food and tries to feed him, brings him his sippy cup, will chase him down the hallway to give him his favorite toy, pats him on the head, kisses him, helps him climb furniture.
Joseph can open the fridge and so now he goes in and gets his sippy of milk and puts it back when he's done. Kind of frustrating, kind of cute...
J&D love to play in their cribs and talk at night, naps and mornings. Every night they ask to go in each other's cribs and on the rare occassion I let them, they laugh and play and bounce...and then both bawl when I seperate them.
They put their legs through the crib slats facing each other and "chat"
If J runs out of water/milk and I have to refill his cup, I have to pretend to refill D's because he feels jipped, even if his isn't gone.

Christmas Eve

2010-12-28T19:48:00.004-07:00

Christmas Eve was full of magic, family and good times at our house. We actuallys started the day at a friends house with brunch, which was a great idea. Wish I would have taken pics!!! We opted for the first Christmas eve service at our church (late afternoon), and for many reasons, I'm glad we did, it worked out perfectly. Nolan wanted to come with us, so he sat between us and was amazing. And the service was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes!! This pic is at church...they are almost cooperating! While we finished getting dinner ready Nolan decorated his cookies for Santa. J & D enjoyed "helping" by eating as much icing as they could get their hands on. Brian getting the dinner cut upand ready to serve. We normally do something super easy for Christmas eve so we can focus on family and relaxing, but we won a turkey from base housing. We went with some non-tradional turkey side items to make it easier and it was delicious!! The twins think its much more exciting to throw food on a table cloth than just the wooden table. We had no where to hang our stockings this year that wasn't a risk of hurting the babies (or putting some holes in the wall to actually hang them), so we waited until Christmas Eve. It actually added to the excitement! Cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. Egg nog, of course!

Brian and I actually made into bed at a decent time, too, snuggled in cozy waiting for the morning of magic. We are truly blessed beyond words and I can't decide which day I like more...Christmas morning or Christmas Eve!

Progressive Dinner

2010-12-27T07:38:00.003-07:00

The week before Christmas our neighborhood group of friends organized a progressive dinner. Well, it was going to be a dinner, but we decided heavy appetizers and dessert would be easier and more fun. So we went to 4 houses and had 7 families participate. We also had to wear tacky Christmas sweaters. It was so much fun and such a relief from the hustle and bustle stress that comes with the holidays. The kiddos had a great time, too, getting to play at 4 different houses!

I know, we're hot. What do you like more, Brian's turtle neck or my red corduroy pants?

Tyler and Jess. She had matching shoes, it was awesome and she made Tyler's sweatshirt!

Kristy & Chris. I guess he broke a ton of lights making his vest. Brien & Erica:

Brian and our neighbor, Jeff. This is my favorite picture of the night. Sweater vests and hot drinks. So hot.

Nolan and Trenton.

Joey & Danny. They had so much fun!

The girls: The guys: