Oh Christmas Tree

Okay, okay, I'm just not going to get the "perfect" tree picture that I feel captures how I feel every night when I turn on the lights and can just look at the beauty of its peace and be lost in all the memories and beauty Christmas time brings (not to mention every time I get the "snow" under the tree just a right, a certain red headed toddler grabs at it and plays with it). The first time I plugged the tree in, Nolan just stopped and said, "Happy." He can talk in sentences, but I think he summed it up pretty well...sometimes we just need to say how something makes us feel. I didn't tackle our big tree. This is our small tree that we bought and used our first two Christmas's. I chose a patriotic theme for obvious reasons. It really does remind me not only of Brian's sacrifice, but of all the soldiers deployed and away from their families, many of them for a year or 18 months. That could be 2 Christmas times they miss. Or they could miss 2 of their child's birthdays. Two anniversary's. It's a tough life for both the soldiers and their families. My hats are off and my hearts go out to you. I say that truly because I have thought so much about that and 4 months is really not long. It's humbling compared to a year or 18 months. Here's the tree not lit:

Lit:

It's been strange getting Christmas decorations out. It's bittersweet and I almost feel like I am going behind Brian's back. This is our thing that we have always done together. It's why Christmas is so special, because amid the crazy hustle and bustle we have to pause and get those boxes out and decorate. And you can't decorate a house, and especially a tree, without reminiscing and taking a leisurely stroll down memory lane. Brian, the calendar says Christmas is December 25th. I know that's when we'll celebrate Christ being born. I'm trying to teach that to our son, amid all the Santa stuff. But I want you to know that Christmas for us will really happen when you step off that plane in a few weeks and we get to hug and kiss you non-stop for days. We love and we miss you.