Happy 4th Birthday Sweet Boy!

My Dearest Nolan,
It seems like the time between these letters I write to you are growing shorter and shorter and you keep growing faster and faster. Your 3rd year of your life was a whirlwind and you grabbed hold of the adventures it had in store for you. Last year at this time we had not yet told you that I was pregnant with twins, or  even that I was pregnant at all, even though we knew. I was glad you would get to enjoy one more birthday just the three of us. You seemed somewhat uninterested when we told you that you would be a big brother, but it wasn't long before you were wanting to kiss my belly and talk about whether you were having two brothers, sisters or one of each. You were convinced it was a boy/girl and basically told the ultrasound tech she was wrong, making us burst out in laughter. You love to do that, you know...make people laugh. Anyway, I know it was a lot to expect of you to be so patient while Mommy had to "grow the babies" and be on modified bed rest. I am so grateful to friends and family that took your mind off things and kept you busy, but I can tell you now that it also made me sad. I wanted to be doing all that fun stuff with you and even then it began...this juggling routine mothers have to do to take care of more than one child. Some of my favorite times of this year are when you would climb into bed with me and we would turn on a "kid movie" as you call it and we would snuggle and snack and talk.

On top of all that upcoming change, you were expected to uproot for two months while we went to St. Louis to have the babies. You had so much fun, but I also know you missed Florida and your friends a whole lot. And I can't imagine how sad it was for you to have all that change, return home only to find out that a lot of those good friends and certainly your best friend, had moved away. If it was me, I would have felt jipped, robbed, self pity. Not you...you accepted it with grace and with courage. My second favorite moment of the day your brothers were born this past June was the moment you came bursting through the door of my room at the hospital. When you came around the corner your face changed and I could tell you were worried, seeing me in a hospital bed looking so worn out and just different. Then you climbed into that bed (with no concern of the IV's coming from my arm!) as fast as your legs would carry you and gave me a big bear hug and just cradled into that nook in my arms. I wanted you to stay there for good, snuggled in my arms, my first born beautiful boy. Nothing has really been the same since, and although I knew that would happen, I didn't think you would get it. And yet you have. No, it hasn't been perfect and you've had some adjusting to do, but you have taken it all in stride and your role as big brother has pierced my heart with pride. Every single time I put the babies on their play mat to play I find that they have been covered with a blanket and usually an animal of yours is their to keep them company if you can't. They ADORE you and both of their faces light up a room when they see or hear you. It's the most humbling and beautiful, unexplainable phenomenon to watch the bond of brotherhood grow. You hold such an incredible honor, being the "big Brother" and I'm so giddy with excitement for you (and for Joseph & Daniel)!

You are truly so bright, so full of charm and creativity and you absolutely are the FUNNIEST child I've ever met. You love telling jokes. You love "kidding" us. You learned the pledge of alliegance word for word and know your ABC's and numbers and how to spell words. You are very self sufficient, but often want help just because you want our attention. Your pictures that you draw are actual pictures now and not just scribble, with people and animals and I can actually tell what they are! You love it when we read to you and I've caught you reading to Mousey and to your brothers on numberous occassions. I write these things to you, Nolan, because I can't hold on to these days no matter how hard I try and my baby is now becoming a little boy. You're not even considered a "toddler" but a pre-schooler. There is so much more I have to tell you, so much more I could say about how endlessly proud of you I am and your character and your sweetness and your kindness. Thank you for being so patient with Daddy and I this past year. Thank you for your hugs, kisses, beautiful artwork, your stories, your jokes and your unconditional love. I love you Nolan. I've had some wonderful times in my life, I've loved and been friends with some amazing people and seen awesome things. But nothing holds a candle to the past four years. I knew I wanted a baby for so long, but the experience of raising you, getting to know you and loving you with every pore of my being has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. Happy 4th Birthday sweet Nolan.

Love, Mommy

XOXO,